We all want success, happiness.
And to achieve it, most of the time, we relate success to money, career progression, etc.
Many a times, I feel, we are looking at the wrong place.
I always feel that money will bring me happiness and the feeling of success. So I try to earn more money. I keep striving for higher pay, etc. I'm still not happy. Note that my salary isn't particularly low. It's not super high either. The first thing that goes through my mind is... Maybe I'm not earning enough... So like a drug addict or alcoholic, I strive to earn even more, to save more, to hoard even more money/financial assets. Hoping that someday in future, the super high pay will bring me happiness.
Maybe I'm looking at the wrong place.
I also feel that maybe finding a good job might give me a sense of success. So I hop from back office finance job and try really really hard to get to the front office and keep striving for a more senior role, etc. Every job transfer or promotion doesn't give me the successful feelings which I'm hoping for. Maybe I'm still not in the right job. Or maybe I'm not at a senior enough level. Hoping that someday in future, some ideal role in the same company or position might bring me the success I crave for.
Maybe I'm again looking at the wrong place.
I've come to realise more and more, that if I'm climbing the wrong tree, it doesn't matter how high I climb.
It's still the wrong tree.
More money probably won't make me happier. After a certain pay, the increments don't advance my lifestyle by very much.
Getting promoted gives me a sense of success for a few weeks/months. It eventually wears out. I still feel the "What am I doing here" kind of feeling.
All I'm looking for is a place where I can feel at "home". Somewhere where my skills are appreciated. Where I feel at ease doing what I'm doing. That I feel like digging deeper into the topic such that I am happy digging deeper and fueling my interest. Maybe that's what people call passion. Where they can keep doing it for long periods without feeling tired. Where they wake up and feel like continuing, or they might not even feel like sleeping due to the challenges it brings.
Maybe it's the exploration and discovery of something which I really really like to do. And it is a profitable hobby. Maybe that's why some folks say they never want to retire. Cos they don't even feel like retiring. Why would someone retire from something they enjoy doing daily and get paid for?? Maybe I'm looking for the wrong kind of solution.
I'm looking at where everyone else is looking. Money and career. And I keep pushing at those points trying to make them individually better. However, maybe I should start by exploring to find the right thing to do. Then eventually, the career and money will follow.
As I analyse more, it looks like my solution is too on the surface. That I'm only trying to fix the small parts. When the more important part I have not looked at. Or am unwilling to get go.
It's like the car is spoilt. The engine is not really working well. But I'm just fixing the wheels or air conditioning.
When the real solution is to either change the engine or change the whole car.
But yet on another hand, I'm afraid of letting go of the old car or engine as it has served me well enough for the past years. It has given me the transport I needed and comfort of a car. What if I don't get used to the new car or new engine?
Same like for my job, money, career and success. I don't particularly like what I'm doing. It pays well enough but it doesn't give me the fulfilment I would like to have. I keep moving around the same industry hoping something might change. When deep down, I know that probably it's me that has to change. To be able to let go of what I have now and explore other avenues until I find the path which I am passionate in.
How about you? Do you feel the same sense of loss or lack of direction? Ever wonder why some people actually are able to dig deep into a career and say they are "happy" with their jobs? Ever felt like it's not possible? Well, most likely, it's possible. Just that they are doing something which you aren't doing. Either they are lucky to end up in a job they love at a start or they might have explored and found what they really loved to do.
I believe it IS possible. The only problem is... I don't even know how to search/explore.
What do you feel?
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