What if I do this and fail?
What if I don't do this and regret?
Both of these thoughts are thoughts about regret.
The first one is the thought that you will do something, then when it fails, you regret trying it, cos you probably wasted time and or money.
The second one is the thought that you never tried something and regret never having even tried it in the first place and you never know where that path lead you.
Both of these thoughts are helpless thoughts... meaning... you feel helpless cos you don't know the ending. You don't know what's going to happen. So there's always fear.
So how do you eliminate fear? By knowing, by being more prepared and finally, owning the decision.
Many times, we are always stuck in the knowing and being prepared state.
So we never decide and own the decision. And due to this, we always think... what if... what if... what if???
For me, I've come to realize that this final step of owning the decision, being responsible for the decision made, is the most important step.
Let's put some examples which we are all familiar with...
I've quit my job... what if I run out of money in the future? This is probably the greatest fear of anyone who is thinking about doing what I'm doing... the answer is simple.
I will go back to work. Duhz. The pay or position I get at that point in time is irrelevant. And I own this decision.
That's it. There's no uncertainty in this. I know what's going to happen. It's not a worst case scenario. It is just a scenario. I do not think that it is a bad thing. I obviously don't think it's a good thing. It's just something that I'm prepared to do.
Some people want to start a business. A lot of people want to try.
How many people have done the research and stopped short of executing?
So many people talk about setting up a XX or YY... and discuss ideas with friends... and it's all talk...
I don't talk about businesses anymore, whether people ask me for ideas or if they want to discuss their ideas... cos I know... more often than not, it's all talk.
I've started a few businesses, I've failed, I own my decision and come to my own conclusion. I feel I'm not a person suited to start a business, and henceforth, I hold my peace...
It's quite simple really. If you've done all your research, but didn't want to execute for whatever reason... fear, lack of capital, etc... then own that decision.
Say it proudly, "I am afraid, thus I do not want to start this business" and leave it as that. And forever hold your peace.
Or "I have kids and I am afraid that I will have no money to take care of them if the business fails". Just decide and leave it, and forget about it.
You see... once you've come to a conclusion, make a decision and own that decision. Don't think "what if" anymore, be fully responsible and accountable for your actions.
It's like when you buy a poor performing stock... some of you know how this feels.
You lose 20% and you think what are you going to do about it? Unrealized losses.
You wait and it doesn't go back up, it goes down again...
Then one day, you decide to forget it, just sell it. Realize the losses...
How does it feel? Suddenly the weight is lifted off your shoulders? You've let it go.
You own the decision and are responsible for your mistake.
It's something like that.
You only have one life. You either make the decision or not. There's no what if.
If you made the decision and you messed up... well, learn from it and move on, there's no "if only I had", cos you don't get to redo the situation. Accept that time goes in one direction, you don't get to retry.
BUT, it's ok to make mistakes. Just keep moving forward.
Looking back does absolutely nothing. Being stuck thinking "what if" or "if only I had" does nothing.
So the thing is... it's very simple...
You want to do something, you plan for it, then you execute it and if it works out, good, if it doesn't work out, just move forward. Don't look back...
Alternatively, you want to do something, you are afraid, it's ok, it's absolutely ok to be afraid. Then make a decision and recognize you are afraid, stop thinking about it, move forward, don't look back.
Cos, you see... in life, there's no right or wrong. (I'm assuming no one is having criminal tendencies.)
You just live it. Right or wrong is in your own mind. You may think... if only I did this, then I could have done it better... but YOU DIDN'T, so just move on.
You may have wanted to start a business, BUT YOU HAVE KIDS, AND YOU DON'T DARE TO START ONE ANYMORE, so that's it, just move on. There's nothing left to think about here.
Or like me... I left my job... maybe I have no more money when I'm 60 years old... if only I had stayed in my job... BUT I DIDN'T... so... move on.
This is the idea of the perfect game. There is no such thing. It's not like a game where you can unlock all the secrets and look in every crook and cranny and if you missed out something you can replay the game, and you complete the game by doing something...
Life's not like that... it's like a game in certain ways, but in other ways, it's not a like a game.
There's only one way to end the game of life... that's to die. In a game, you try to stay alive.
If you intentionally did something wrong, is it considered a mistake? This is what I mean by owning your decision.
I've come to accept my life as a consequence of all my decisions. Good or bad, it's just my story, just part of my life. There's no right or wrong, could I have done some things better, yes, does it matter? Nope, not really, I can't do anything about the past. Life goes on. I learn from my errors and move on.
So whenever I hear my friends talk about the next business idea. I usually just smile :o)
Cos I've already made my decision, I don't get involved in such discussions. Cos most of them haven't even started businesses before, and probably after the exciting discussion, they probably will just go back to their daily lives.
So the message for today is...
You want, you plan for it and do it...
You don't want, you recognize why you don't want and don't do it...
Both decisions are absolutely fine and there's nothing to regret if you consciously made the decision.
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