When I was young, this happened to me many times.
I wanted a Nintendo, a Sega Genesis, a Sega Saturn, a Playstation...
I got some of them, I didn't get the Playstation...
Before my parents bought them for me, I was really excited about owning whatever new game console was on the market. I was like every other kid.
But after I got it, I didn't really play it. Somehow, I just didn't take much pleasure playing on it. I just wanted to own it, and after I owned it, that was it... It was a strange experience.
This happened a few times, for a few other things or hobbies. Like my first handphone. After I got it, I didn't use it much. People don't call me much. Same as for now...
And I thought about this many years back... maybe the dream of owning something is more attractive than really owning it.
Same as my previous post. The dream of sipping wine at home with a candlelight dinner is more attractive than actually preparing and cleaning up after that.
I also like Gundam models. So I really admire the figurines when I pass by Otaku shops.
But after I thought about it, I stopped wanting things. I liked a lot of things. I still do. But I just don't want it. The ownership just means nothing to me. I can admire the Gundam models when I see them when walking around. If I display it at home, I'll just ignore it cos I would just go on with my daily life.
When I got my Sega Saturn, I hardly played it. I think I was around 16 years old or something. But I just didn't bother or want to play it. I am sure that I did not depreciate that game console sufficiently.
I think this played a big part in my "not wanting anything" cos after getting it... "Like that lor"... the desire is over.
My sis bought a Nintendo Wii some years back. She was really excited about it, cos she imagined all the good times we could spend together playing it. She could play with her husband and the rest of us when we visit our parents place. So she thought that it would be a good tool to encourage more together time.
We played it for around 3 weekends... Then the novelty wore off and that was the end of it.
I don't know if I'm just old... I tend to be very aware of this. That the desire or the imagination is just more appealing than the actual end goal.
I'm not saying that it's always the case. There are many things that would be great to include in our lives. Like I love my halogen oven, and I use it sufficiently.
But I do find that many people tend to imagine themselves in a particular situation and dream about how much they like something or how much they use something before the purchase/spending, then after that, they quickly lose interest and it becomes a white elephant.
Like my wife loves dreaming about eating ice cream. When we walk past the ice cream sections of super markets, she asks me to buy. But I know she doesn't really really like eating ice cream. At the start, I was ok with it. So we bought 2 tubs, we go home and we each have a scoop each. Then... she never touches the ice cream again. Maybe she would have a scoop of the 2nd tub to try to flavour... but that's about it. The first 2 tubs, I ate 90% of them...
It happened again... I was foolish enough to think that she would carry her own weight, or maybe I just forgot. Well... couple of months later, she asked to buy ice cream again, and I bought it... Well... same thing happened. I ate 90% of those 2 tubs as well.
That was the end of the ice cream issue. I told her I'm never buying tubs or large quantities again. I'm not going to buy those 6 sticks in a box or any other bulk ice cream, cos... well... she just won't eat it. So I just told her, "if on that day, you feel like eating some ice cream, you walk past a counter, you pick up a single small cup or cone, and we share it, that's it. We aren't going to buy tubs or boxes anymore."
Recently, she wanted to buy this big box of cereal to "try"...
"HAH!! YEA RIGHT!" I learnt from my previous lesson. "No... please go find a small box and try that. If you like it and would like to eat it regularly, THEN we buy the big box..."
I think many of us have experienced this. Somehow after we get the item, it's not so fun anymore.
And that's the thing about it. Many people don't realize this and they continue to fall for this mental trap.
They imagine that they would love something very much and they truly believe it. And there's nothing wrong with that. But rather, imagination is usually more beautiful than reality.
My wife loves going for high tea at hotels. So I tend to get dragged along during our birthday period. Ok fine... she says that in future, she imagines after she retires, she would set a day every week and go to sip tea at a hotel.
I told her, she's likely not going to like it. Cos, for one, even when we go once or twice a year, she can't sit around sipping tea for long, she gets fidgety after around 1.5 hours and wants to leave already. But she does enjoy her 1.5 hours at the start. The second point is that if she goes every week, it would be a common occurrence and then that's when it starts to get boring. It's fun now, cos it's once a year, there's longing and desire and imagination. Once it becomes a routine, it's no fun anymore.
Oh well... but that's still many years to go, there's nothing much to talk about now...
So how many times have we fallen into this trap? I think I would like that pair of shoes, that shirt, I think I would wear that pair of jeans often... I think I would go cycling often, so let's buy that carbon fiber bicycle. But many times we end up getting all excited at the novelty of the idea, but in a couple of weeks, things die down and we just lose interest.
Oh well... I think it's good to be aware of this...
Not to say we shouldn't try new things. I think it's important to try new things and experiences. But to be aware that sometimes, more often than not, the imagination is more attractive than the real thing. So don't go all in at the start. If want to take up cycling, get a cheapo bicycle, less than $100, if you really enjoy it and have been cycling for 6 months already and think it would be nice to take the hobby further, then it's not too late to get a better bike.
Or if you want a Playstation 4, maybe it's cos you want to play 2 games only. Then you could borrow the games from a friend? Or rent it? Or even go to a gaming shop to play for a couple of hours on the weekend. Yes, some people really fully utilize their game consoles, so it's fine to buy it if you know you're going to love it a lot.
So where am I going with this? Well... simply put...
It's ok to want things, and it's important to try stuff and experience life and enjoy ourselves.
But yet, our mind is a strange thing. It creates feelings and emotions and desires. And that's a fallacy, cos we are driven by these feelings to do stuff/make decisions, and many times, the mind performs poorly at estimating how happy we would be with a decision/purchase, cos what you imagine you like, vs what you really like, could be very different.
And I think it would be good to learn from our past mental miscalculations and make adjustments to the estimating formula so that we can make better decisions.
Like if I feel that I really really really want something, then chances are, I will like it and use it well.
If I only really really want something, then maybe I won't use it much.
If I only want something, then likely I will regret the purchase.
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