Someone around me passed away very recently. I didn't know the person personally. I didn't even see the person before. But I know the person stayed within a 100 meter radius from me.
It was very sudden. A heart attack.
He was already on the way to the hospital, but never made it there.
I heard the crying sounds. It was heart wrenching.
That got me thinking again about how fleeting life can be.
I think about this quite often. But every once in a while, I get reminded about it more vividly.
I think about that person whom I never met. And what he thought was a normal day. He may have been sick or unhealthy but I doubt he knew that day was the day. And I think about his family, and what they thought was a normal day as well.
And I think about all the things he must have left undone.
I want to watch my _____ grow up.
I want to watch my grand _____ grow up.
I still have to go to _____ country with my wife when we retire.
I quarreled with _____ I regret that now.
And I think about what the people around him would feel...
I thought that I still had time left with him.
We were supposed to go to _____ this weekend.
We were supposed to go to _____ country when we retired.
I quarreled with him yesterday, I regret that now.
Did he know how much I loved him before he went? I wish I could have told him one more time.
I get pretty emotional when thinking about these things, cos I tend to simulate these in my mind. And I think from both points of view. And I think, if I were to meet with an accident when driving and I was bleeding on the road waiting for the ambulance, what would I be thinking. Or if one of my loved ones parted from me, how would I feel?
And every time I quarrel or argue with someone, I remind myself, that THAT could be the last memory I have of them or the last memory that that person has of me. And I think to myself, is that the way I want to remember someone or be remembered?
And so every time I get reminded about such things, I reflect. What would I regret most if I were to leave this Earth prematurely? Have I done the best that I can to be able to live a life without regrets? What else can I do better?
So what are the top few things which I think I will think about?
1. Have I spent enough time with my wife and does she know how much she means to me?
2. Have I spent enough time with my parents / grand parents and shown how grateful I am to them?
3. I hope there's going to be no issues with handling my assets, everything should be in the will, I just hope they know how to administer it properly.
Then I think about what I will NOT regret.
- I have absolutely no regrets leaving my job. I sometimes think, if I didn't leave my job, my AUM would be XXX more and I would be more financially secure... But as I think about it from a death perspective, I realize, that I have absolutely no regrets about that.
- I don't care that I never found the job that I had passion for.
- I will not regret spending a little bit more to experience something new, travel, food, the car, etc. As long as the spending does not impact the overall AUM growth.
- I do not regret, what most people deem as, doing nothing with my life. After leaving my job, I've been in low/no productivity. And really, doing nothing... that's fine by me.
So if we look at the things I regret, I think if we flip it around, those are the most important things I should be thinking about on a regular basis. Also, this also means that if any of these people were to leave me suddenly, I would ALSO think about the same things.
- If my wife were to leave me suddenly, I would like for her to know how much she means to me.
- Or if my parents/grand parents were to embark on their next journey, I would like them to know how grateful I am to them for bringing me up.
The thing is... every time, someone near me, passes away. I think about these things. About the things left undone, cos so often, we/I think, that there's always another day, there's always tomorrow. And it keeps me grounded, about what is really important to me. To me, these are important. Maybe your list will be different, that's normal, everyone has different priorities.
My thought process about this is pretty simple.
Everyone has to go someday. I don't want to regret anything when it's time.
I don't know when is my time. So I try not to live with regrets on a daily basis.
I do apologize for such a bleak topic so early in the morning. It has been on my mind recently.
Stay safe, stay healthy, and live life to your fullest.
Not YOLO, that's a different thing entirely.
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