(This post is not meant to be elitist or anything. I've just been different since young, I think about stuff differently and seriously, I don't give a sh*! about a lot of other things. So just sharing.)
I don't have any primary school friends.
I meet 1 secondary school friend maybe 1-2 times a year
I meet 1 JC friend maybe 1-2 times a year. (he's the same person as the secondary school one.)
I don't have any army friends.
I meet 1 Uni friend 2 times a month.
I meet some ex-colleagues once a quarter.
It's not that I didn't have any friends during all the periods in my life. I was not a social outcast. During all the periods of my life, I went out with the groups, we had fun and all that. But few of them carried on into my next phase in life.
During the times we went out, we had fun when doing activities, but when it was time to sit down and talk over meals or whatever as a group. I was rather... distant.
I can hold a conversation in a 1 on 1 setting. I can talk fine cos I think we can find some common stuff to talk about.
But in groups, I tend to stay quiet... It's like group think... when a group of people think together and work on a task, the solution is likely not the best solution but rather the most socially accepted solution. Cos people tend to talk about solutions they want others to hear/accept and they don't talk about the unorthodox ideas, which might be better.
Same for social settings. People tend to talk about all the common mundane stuff. Some Korean drama, the match last night, how bad their bosses were, etc.
I didn't like to complain about my work or bosses. It was unnecessary. If not happy, just leave, else find some way around it. To me, it was very simple. If the work was tedious, then find a better way, else live with it. Complaining doesn't really work.
No one really talks about retirement, savings, the best credit cards to use, insurance policies, politics, religion, the cosmos (as in the Universe and stuff).
Most folks just discuss the usual stuff and somehow, I've never really been interested in them...
Like watches... ok I'm interested in watches as a learning topic. Cos it IS an investment alternative in a certain sense... but most of the time people are just interested in the latest one that came out and which one they really wanted to buy but couldn't afford.
Same for cars. They say this one has turbo, can hit xxx horsepower, whatever... I'm so not interested in that. To me it's all about the learning... ok if they started talking about HOW to change the filter, or engine oil, or the spark plugs or whatever fluids. I'd be interested. Cos it's cool. To me it's always fun to learn something useful. Discussing stuff to buy... no thanks.
Or I get really excited if people start talking about cooking, what ingredients to use, where to get cheaper, fresher stuff, cooking techniques and all that. But no one talks about these stuff... so when I was working, I used to hang around with the aunties. I mean really... that's where I can learn stuff. Hanging around the younger folk, they usually talk about just buying stuff.
And my wife says I'm a social turn off. Cos many times during discussions, someone says something untrue, some rumor or whatnot, then I'd say... "actually... " (Yea, I'm sure you know, there's usually one of this kinda person in most groups.) The guy who pours cold water over a fun discussion, cos he has the actual data and conclusion to kill the debate.
And my wife just tells me to let them discuss and enjoy themselves... And from my view... why would I want them to continue to propagate falsehoods?
Her answer to me is... cos they don't care about the truth. They like to live in their illusion of the world. Most people do. And instead they probably think that I'm a doofus for killing the topic.
So the thing is... I haven't really been able to form really close bonds with quite a lot of people, basically cos I think our values are different. We just look at things differently and it's hard to connect, especially in a group setting. Single settings are somewhat better, yet I tend to have different interests. I mean... I can talk about bags and watches and cars and all that... it's not like I can't keep a conversation alive. It's just I find it hard to form a close connection with someone who has differing core values.
Posting on this blog has been somewhat helpful. A number of people have reached out to me to express that it is nice to know that someone similar exists. So it is comforting to know that there probably are more people like me out there. However weird we may be.
Thank you.
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