Ok so what does this mean?
Well, a typical human being lives for around 80+ years. Which equates to around 30,000 days.
How many days do you have left?
I'll be very direct in this post. I'm very realistic about my mortality. I could die anytime. I recognize this. That's why I'm properly insured. Anyway, this post isn't about insurance. It's about living your own life as best as you can.
Everyone dies, but not everyone lives.
I see hear about this all the time. The below are examples.
My parents want me to get married soon.
My parents want me to have children soon as they want to hold grandchildren. I don't want to disappoint them.
My parents want a big wedding as I'm the only child/daughter/son/etc
My parents want me to go college
My friends are all in science course
My friends have all moved overseas to work
My friends all have big cars
The list goes on. Humans have a tenancy to live up to each others expectations. And many people feel disappointed in themselves for letting others down. Interesting isn't it? People are disappointed with themselves for disappointing others. That's like so strange.
Anyway the point about this whole post is. It is your life. Your pain, your loss, your cost.
1) Someone gets married in a rush due to parental pressure. The spouse might not be ideal. The marriage might not be happy, and even if the marriage does not end up in divorce, the parents will be dead and the child will be in a marriage which does not make him/her happy.
2) Someone likes to live a single life, but gets married due to parental pressure. The marriage might not be happy, and even if the marriage does not end up in divorce, the parents will be dead and the child will be in a marriage which does not make him/her happy.
3) Someone does not want to have kids but give in due to parental pressure. Blah blah blah. The parents die, the children have to take care of the kids whom they may or may not really want in the first place. Sure they will take care of them but they might not have had the kids if not for parental pressure.
The list goes on.
Of course they may still love their kids but that's not the point I'm trying to make. Essentially, if you live to fulfill other people's expectations, they will die and you will have to carry on the decision.
4) If someone buys a big car cos all his friends have big cars. He might be able to afford it but he may not want the car in the first place. If his friends die or if they stop being friends? What next? Will he sell his car? He might not have saved as much as he could should he not have bought the car in the first place.
So this post is really to highlight that everyone lives his own life and has to face the consequences of his own actions. If they lived for someone expectation, they have to bear the costs that they made to live up to others expectations. The person who expected it does not need to pay the cost.
This does not mean to shirk your responsibility. If my parents are disabled, I will help them and take care of them. In Asian culture, this is filial piety. However, if they want me to be a doctor when I want to be a dancer, for example, then in such a case I would suggest following the dream of being a dancer as when the parents are dead, I still have to continue my life and if I am not happy being a doctor, what would I do then? Cos at that age, I might not be able to pursue my dream anymore.
So the cost of being a doctor carries on even after my parents are gone. And personally, I feel that is pointless as the expectation goes with the person. But the living will continue to carry the cost of the decision.
There are many of such instances in life and I think I have made some of these decisions based on others exceptions. But I'll live with them and now I look at life differently cos I realize that I live my own life. And others will have to live their own life and face the consequences of their own decisions be it good or bad.