It wasn't really an active trip, we just hung around some shopping centers looking for food and basically doing nothing. We didn't do any sight seeing. It's rather a getaway from Singapore instead of a trip to explore Thailand...
Anyway, on to my post for today.
I'm not sure about most people. But for me, I like to keep a constant balance in my life.
A balance of overall happiness.
I've realized, for myself, I'm most happy/contented when things stabilize.
But when that happens, then I get bored and I try to do something else in an attempt to increase my happiness, then things will destabilize and I get a bit stressed out then work towards another level of stability then I get contented again, then I get bored again and the cycle continues.
I've come to a conclusion that actually, I like the balance of stability. And any attempts to destabilize is pretty much cos of boredom instead of the real NEED to increase overall happiness, cos I find no perceived real change in happiness from an earlier stable state in life, vs a later stable state in life.
Due to this, I tend to curate my life.
I try not to create spikes of happiness or unhappiness.
Cos it's like drugs. When I'm happy, it's easier to feel the effects of unhappiness when things turn sour.
I believe that every day, I should maintain a good level of happiness and contentment and I don't try to make anything happier or unhappier than the day before.
For example, when I was younger, I would go on a crash diet and limit my calorie intake to cut my weight by 8-10kg when I felt chubby, then when I hit my target weight in a couple of months, I'd eat more freely and over a couple of years, I'd put back the kilos again and I'd repeat the cycle again.
The dieting and exercise months were tough and it took a lot of effort and discipline cos my girlfriend (wife now) wouldn't be able to eat a lot of other things cos I couldn't eat them. And personally, I also hated those days of calorie cutting and exercise.
So instead, I now choose to eat a more simple diet, it's easier now that I cook for myself, and I get a lot of free vegetables. Then at rare days we go out to eat nicer food, like this month, we went for a buffet at a hotel, or sometimes I may go out eat with friends, but generally, we don't indulge in heavy food as much as we used to when we were in our 20s.
Or maybe when I was younger, I'd look for higher value investments trying to beat the market. Sometimes I do better, sometimes I don't do well.
But as I get older, I tend to like a more passive low risk approach to investments. ETFs or good dividend stocks are preferred. I don't really like the roller coaster ride of emotions even if I get better returns. I prefer a more slow and steady approach, as long as my returns are positive in the long run and I can sleep well at night.
The thing is I find that there are many people who like having a range of emotions. Happiness, sadness, anger, exuberance, etc. I know someone who would dispose of her coffee table cos she doesn't need it, and she would just walk around shopping centers and when she sees another coffee table which she thinks is nice, she would just want to buy it. She's just happy buying stuff, cos the act of spending money makes her happier than if she doesn't spend it.
I know people who change their cars every 2 years, cos they get bored of the old car so they need to get a bit of happiness by switching to another car, it's not about the money, they can afford it, but rather, people just like change. The novelty of having a new item.
Or another friend who likes toys, so he likes to turn the gachapon, you know those egg like balls, you put a couple of bucks into a machine, turn the lever and a ball with a toy pops out. Yea, he likes to turn those, or buy small toys at toy shows, etc... also, simply, the novelty of having a new item for fun...
Which is all fine... everyone should be able to spend what they want, whenever they want.
For me, I recognize that there is no end of the thrill of novelty, and novelty has a cost to it.
Like trying new restaurants, which we used to do when younger, we tried a lot of buffets for the thrill of it.
We used to go for plays, Phantom of the Opera, etc...
It's always fun to try new things.
But I started understanding that I was buying "products" for the thrill of the purchase rather than the "product" itself.
For example, when we went to hotel buffets, there are some good ones, but more or less they are similar in terms of food quality and variety. But we enjoyed going cos it was always a new experience when we went somewhere new.
So the thing is. I try not to do things out of our routine. I think it keeps a good balance in my life. I don't like spikes of extreme happiness or disappointment.
I try not to increase my spending, or find reasons to increase my spending. I try to cut my spending if it doesn't entail a lot of effort.
I try not to eat too much on a regular basis, so that I don't need to exercise or diet. I really don't like to exercise or diet.
I try not to buy new things into the house, cos it clutters up the space.
Basically, I try set up my life in a way where I don't need to adjust too much to make up for the difference.
For example, I don't eat too heavy foods, so that I don't need to have to exercise to lose the weight.
Or I don't spend too much, so that in future, I don't have to reduce spending when my finances might be tight in future.
And I don't get used to too good or expensive stuff, cos the brain loves dopamine, when the brain get used to thrills, then the brain will crave to be thrilled again, and it takes more to create the same thrill. So I don't pick up unnecessary additional thrills, cos someday in future, I may need to cut down on these habits/hobbies and I don't want to get too entrenched into something that I need to make special effort to remove from my life...
As I type this post, I realize, that it might seem like I live a very boring disciplined life.
And I think that it is somewhat true. It's highly disciplined, I agree. But I don't find it boring.
I understand why I am doing all these for. Why I keep my life free from other things/habits/etc... it prevents clutter in my life, physical clutter and mental clutter. It keeps my mind very free cos I have little things which distract me.
I probably do miss out of some experiences due to this but I suppose that's the trade off I am willing to make to keep my life stable and balanced.
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