The idea that when the kid turns 2, the kid will become more curious, manipulative, harder to control, etc.
This kinda irritated me.
Terrible twos don't just come.
The parents create them.
How many times have you heard, "they are just kids", "they are still small and don't know... whatever"
so between 0 to 1 years old, they are still kids. Between 1 to 2 years old, they are still kids.
Suddenly at 2 years old, they turn terrible twos?
It is the pampering parents day after day, night after night and iPad after iPad, time and again, parents have given an excuse to give in to their kids.
Maybe for that moment of silence, who can blame the parents right?
No. Seriously, I don't blame them.
But these things add up. All the leeway you have given your kids everyday for 2 years. Have resulted in the terrible twos. It's not the kids that became terrible twos. It's really the parents who created them.
When I was young, when I was able to speak, my parents made me call my uncles and aunties when I went to their house. And we (my sister and I) would stand at the door til we called everyone. So I do appreciate it when parents make the time and effort to train their kids to call their seniors. Nowadays, I see parents who don't enforce this. Well to each their own right. And many times the parents just brush it aside as "They are still young". Eventually, the kids will probably never call their elders when meeting them. It's a gradual thing.
Same as terrible twos. It's also a gradual thing. Kids don't turn 2 immediately. They turn 2 gradually. And terrible twos don't kick in on their birthday. Kids somehow just gradually get more overwhelming from the small bundle they used to be. Then suddenly they become two. And parents just blame it on the kid becoming 2. Seriously?
Everything builds on itself. Why/how did kids start to be uncontrolable? Maybe when parents started to teach their kids the parents were disciplined. Kids always try their luck. So one day, the parents gave in to their kids whims as the parent was tired or felt nice for the day. This gives the kid positive reinforcement. That maybe 1 out of 10 tries, the kid succeeds. And kids are naturally tenacious. They keep trying and whittle down the discipline of parents. I understand parents could be tired after a hard day's work right. So the kid keeps trying their luck and lo and behold, the parents give in again. So maybe the kid realizes that the hit rate has gotten better 2 out of 10 tries. As time goes on, the parents give up resisting the kid and always gives in to the kid.
Resulting in... Amos Yee (Something like that anyway. Where the mother claims that he is beyong her control.)
No seriously. Things don't just happen overnight. Many a times, they are created by the people themselves. Small daily behaviour of how you treat your kids are noticed by the kids themselves. Kids know that they have all the time. What else is there for them to do except to learn? So they always watch and learn. Subconsciously. I'm not saying kids are manipulative. They don't even know what they are doing. But they do it. They watch and observe how the world works. And they will try to use whatever means they have for their own benefit.
If they wail and you give in to them once. They learn that wailing works.
If they wail and you don't give in to them, they wail louder, then you give in to them. You have just taught them that if they wail louder they will get what they want. Eventually, they find out that the parent has a threshold.
If they sit down on the floor of shopping centers and refuse to move, and you carry them. They have learnt how to make you carry them.
The list goes on. Cause and effect is very pronounced when coming to training kids. They don't have rational thinking. Their mind just makes these connections by themselves. So for whatever they become, kids are a reflection of their parent's training.
After which, comes other environmental factors like school and the other people around them.
This is also very similar to saving and spending less.
Similar to drinking coffee with no sugar. I drink coffee with no sugar no milk.
Do it gradually.
Slowly cut down your spending. Spend only on the stuff that gives you the most utility. Happiness is also a utility. Eventually, you will be happy with less spending and you realize that happiness can be achieved in other ways. Save your first dollar then save your second dollar. It's all the same. Small amounts add up. In both good ways and bad ways.
Like the example above about kids. They don't turn 2 just because their birthday has passed. (Well legally they do) but I mean that kids don't just suddenly become unmanageable. It's a slow progress. You can't keep saying the kids are still young. Cos they will forever be young. Then when is the cut off date? 4? On their birthdays? Or 7? On their birthdays? No. Nobody has a cut off time when a kid phases out of the young excuse.
Kids are made for so much more. They learn so fast. If only parents teach them the right things. Kids are able to absorb so quickly. Teach them to wash dishes, take care of their siblings, etc. (My wife watches "Return of Superman" a korean variety show. It shows how kids can be trusted to do many things as long as they are guided properly.)
Similarly, your bank account and your own discipline is also the same
You can do so much if you do it slowly and gradually.
Save slowly, eventually your hill will become a mountain.
Spend less, eventually you won't feel you are any worse off for spending less.
This post is meant to look at both aspects
1) Kids are slowly moulded and usually their behaviour is due to things which parents have instilled knowingly or not.
2) Financial habits are also slowly moulded due to what the person does to cultivate these habits. Similarly, cultivating yourself is same as cultivating children.