My mum always asks me this. I don't know why, but somehow, she thinks that not working is something very boring. I'm totally baffled cos I don't see why she thinks that having no work will equate to being bored.
Think about kids. They don't work. They play and learn and hang around and everything. Do they get bored? Usually very rarely.
People get bored when there's nothing to do. When I stopped work, that doesn't mean I had nothing to do and I just hang around at home doing nothing everyday. Basically, when I stopped work, well... I stopped working. I just means I'm doing other stuff.
On a typical day, I send my wife to work, clean up my home, run errands, prepare dinner, buy groceries, meet friends, type this blog, read news, watch shows, etc, before I know it, I have to pick my wife up from work already. There's always something to do.
The thing is, since work has filled up most people's lives for so many years, it become challenging for them to look for other things to do. Work has filled their lives for so long and they have ignored their interests so much that they have forgotten that there are other things to do.
It's quite sad actually. I had a friend who could not find fulfillment being a tai-tai. Her husband was posted overseas on expat and she followed him. However, she was so bored that after 2 years she decided to return to Singapore to work. During that time, she had part time work and flew back and forth to be with her husband on weekends.
It was quite an incredulous arrangement. I also found it sad cos... Seriously? Was there no other interests that she had? So much so that she only had work to entertain her? Was that all life was to her? But oh well. To each her own. It's her own life.
So I think after retirement, what really determines if you will get bored, is if you have interests. Either you have interests in learning a skill, or a natural curiosity to learn multiple things or even interests in doing mundane things like household chores.
For my mum, after she left her work, there wasn't much for her to do at home cos she has a domestic helper. Her sudden unemployment left her with nothing much to fill the void in her life. She used to go out with her other retired friends regularly and only recently found new responsibilities when my sister had kids.
I think, many times, people aren't prepared for retirement. Not in the financial sense, but in the emotional sense. They may be the first within their group to be retired and they don't have many friends who they can hang out with, or they may get too involved in their kids or grandchildren's lives, which may be annoying.
I think what's important is for people to explore their interests when they are working. Take classes or go and do new activities. Best if the activities are free and if you can do it with your partner. Join a community of likeminded people, so that when you leave your job, you have activities to do which you wouldn't mind getting better at.
This could be dance, gym, a sport, a skill, even learn new skills like how to fix a car and join a car workshop for 6 months just for fun and some pocket money. You could join a baking class or make pastries to sell as a hobby. There's so many interesting things which can be learnt and done.
However, I recommend doing it during your working life. Cos that's when you have the confidence of funds to try new things. When working, spending $1,000 on a new class doesn't sound like much, but after retiring, trying out a new class just for fun for $1,000 seems like a lot just for an experiment. $1,000 is 1 month worth of expenses. So if you want to learn to be a gym instructor, or take a baking class, I suggest doing it before leaving your job. Cos for me, there are times when I think that a class is too expensive to take just for the fun of it.
For example, diving. I've always wanted to learn it. But I expect that I won't be pursuing it regularly, so my thoughts on it is pretty much, I can live without it. Although if I think about it, if I never try, I'll never know. Maybe after taking the course, I might think that diving is my calling all this while and I've never discovered it cos I've just been too cheapo to try the course. It would be so sad if that were the case.
My mum has said, "you're going to go senile if you keep on going like this."
My response to her is... Mother, seriously, it's not like I do nothing at home. I always have something to do. The day passes very quickly. Just cos I don't work doesn't mean my brain isn't engaged.
I look around at the older folks around me. The sample size is quite small though. I find that the older folks, in my sample, who have mental issues are usually folks who have nothing to do after they retire. They simply stop doing almost anything. They don't cook, cooking is a mental activity. You have to plan what you want to buy for tomorrow and how to cook it, they don't read, they don't do housework, cos someone does it for them, etc...
They usually stay at home and just watch television or they may just stare into space.
Sometimes, the care that children show for their parents may end up being their undoing. The children may think that they are nice and provide them a helper to do the housework and cooking and grocery shopping, but by doing so, it removes activities and responsibilities from the elder's life, and in the end, the mental state deteriorates, cos there is no stimulation for the elderly.
I think that's the reason why mahjong is supposed to help prevent Alzheimers. Cos it provides the mental stimulation which is lacking from many elderly's lives.
Anyway, this is just my own observation from the older folks around me.
So interests and activities are the key to not getting bored after retirement. Plan for it well and reap the rewards. Else, you might end up at a loss due to the sudden lack of things to do and start to think about going back to work, cos it's just so easy to use work to fill up the time available, yet, that is not the answer, cos life is so much more than work, you just have to be able to plan for a life without it. It's like breaking up with a partner who you know was never meant to be. You may be happy with that relationship but in the end, you know that he/she is not the one for you to grow old with.
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