Yet I do realize that when the time comes maybe 20-30 years in the future, when both of us are retired, things may change. When we see each other much much more, the relationship dynamics WILL change.
Currently I spend around 5 waking hours with my wife on weekdays and all my waking hours with her on weekends. That's nice and stable.
I spend my time with her after work on weekdays, have dinner, watch some shows, take some walks and that's about it. On weekends, it's a stable schedule. Saturdays we go out and eat breakfast, walk or hang around, then we get our lunch around 1-2pm, then we make our way back when it starts getting crowded. Before we go back, we might buy something to cook for dinner. Then we watch some shows, take some walks or just laze around. For dinner, we may cook, or order in, or maybe go to some nearby eatery for dinner. On Sundays, we visit both our parents. So we'd go out for breakfast, then hang around at one house for a couple of hours and have lunch, then go to the other house for dinner then go back.
So that's the current schedule and balance of our time together.
But every once in awhile, she might take some leave or fall ill and take MC. And so I have another day with her which is more than usual. Somehow, this disrupts the balance of together time and my personal alone time.
So for example, when she is around on a public holiday on Monday. Monday is the day I get most of my stuff done. Like buying groceries for the week, or cleaning up the house and stuff. And when she's on leave on such a day, and we don't have a preset schedule, we just get in each other's way. Or perhaps it's her getting in my way, cos I'm used to an empty house. So when she's walking around the house, or rummaging through the kitchen looking for stuff to eat or messing up the drawers looking for something, it totally drives me crazy.
Somehow, it just doesn't feel right. And it probably won't and it's probably is normal not to feel right.
Cos humans are creatures of habit. As I already have a weekly schedule, when the schedule is messed up, I get uneasy. Things just feel weird. I'm not sure if everyone has this issue though.
So I think, 20-30 years down, when we are both retired, how would things be? Would things be just as weird? I'd believe that in the future, during the first 3 months, things will need to readjust again. To find another balance in our time together vs our alone time. We WILL get in each other's way at the start cos we will need to get used to the new schedule when we are both free. We will need to plan a new time table where maybe we go out to exercise or do some stuff alone or whatever. We can't be spending everyday like our current Saturday/Sunday.
Currently, we indulge a little on weekends, cos she's working and so we spend a bit to make her happy. I'm ok with eating home cooked food or food court quite regularly, but since she's working and enjoys eating at some fancy places, we go and enjoy ourselves on weekends. But in future, we can't be living our Mondays to Fridays like this. We will need to switch our entertainment to non-monetary forms of entertainment. Which would be quite interesting cos the entertainment in future would be vastly different from what we have now. Not to mention we would need to find stuff for her, stuff for me and stuff for both of us to do together.
Anyway, bottom line, if you feel uneasy, weird, easily irritated when your partner is around more than usual, that's entirely normal. Cos things are just breaking from your normal schedule and you are not used to it. However, IF this situation IS your normal schedule or going to be your normal schedule... Then maybe you'd need to work things out cos you're probably going to see a lot more of each other going forward.
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