Think about it. Everyone wants to have or live as a normal or better than normal family.
So let's start with some definitions.
For this purpose, I'll say that a family is the personal self & partner, the parents, and the kids, if any. I've defined it as such, cos if any of the parties have any issues, then it usually ends up affecting the personal self.
So, what is considered a normal family that many people desire?
Well, I would think that for the self and partner, both of them love each other, quarrels are inevitable, but they are quickly settled within 2 days and things get back to normal, they both are OK financially, might not be well off, but they aren't struggling. No extra issues are plaguing them, such as extra martial affairs, substance abuse, gambling, etc. And they are both healthy for their age.
(Light drinking or smoking is considered still reasonable.)
As for the parents, normal parents would be in a similar situation as the personal self and partner. Financially, they are ok, no extra issues, and their relationship with each other is fine. They don't disturb the self and partner too much in their daily lives and don't get too unnecessarily involved with the upbringing of the kids to the point of unreasonableness. They are reasonably healthy for their age. They may or may not be alive, but when they were alive, they were in the above mentioned situation.
As for kids, they are respectful and aren't delinquents, they study reasonably hard, don't overspend, may or may not do well in school, but are ready to progress to the next stages I life.
Sounds ok? Seems reasonable right?
Everyone would love to have or be born in a nice normal family at least, and if born rich, then even better right?
WRONG...
Cos, the word normal means "conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected"
Which means... Average.
Which means, if many other families are not normal, then actually, a somewhat dysfunctional family IS normal
Considering that there are at least 6 parties involved in the family, the couple and 4 parents, the probability that one party is 'not behaving well' is very high.
It is very common that there is someone in the family which is causing issues.
For example,
Somehow, it is quite common for parents not to sleep in the same room. I've heard of quite a number of such instances.
Then it is also quite common for guys or dads to have some sort of extra marital encounters. This could come in the form of a short term affair, a long term one, a commercial transaction, etc.
Then there are gambling issues, or substance abuse.
There are also cases where one parent abandons the family.
A lot of couples also have problems with the in-laws. Especially females with their mother-in-law.
Not to mention, many couples disagree on how to bring up the kids, AND also issues arise when the parents get involved when raising or taking care of the kids.
There are so many issues which people face where we don't really hear about.
What we see is what they want us to see. And what they will show the public is naturally the best picture that they can paint.
So being normal is actually, to have a somewhat dysfunctional family. There is always someone 'misbehaving'. The perfect scenario I painted above is exactly what it is. A perfect scenario. It typically doesn't exist. If it does exist for you, then you are considered very lucky.
And I haven't even included siblings, cos as more parties are included in the equation, there's more chance that there's someone who somewhat affects your overall happiness due to their misdemeanor.
So if you've ever thought "if only I had a normal family", well, whatever you're wishing for, it isn't normal. Cos it's normal for almost all families to have some issues. And you'll have to work around it. That's just what life is. Everyone faces their own issues and has to overcome them. What you see of other people, that's just the picture which they are showing the world. Their issues, rarely will they share with others.
So rest assured, that whatever family you are born into and/or whatever challenges you are facing, your family is probably already normal.
<<PREVIOUS POST // NEXT POST>>