We have a toy, we are told to share...
Have you ever wondered, why should we share?
Should we share? Is it right to share?
Why is deemed selfish when one does not share?
Yet somehow, when we grow up, we aren't expected to share.
Sure, some folks may talk about charity, but... most of the time, in the cases of charity, we are sharing the scraps of what we have. Usually, in the case of charity, we share the stuff we don't want or need. We do charity in our spare time, we donate money that we don't need.
So as a kid, I'm playing with a toy. And someone else wants it. And I'm still playing with it.
Why would a parent ask the kid to share it?
When we grow up, no one is going to ask us to share our car when we are still using it, or our house, or money that I still need, or time that I still want to spend, etc.
So why should kids be expected to behave any differently?
Why should they learn that they need to share any toy.
Should the kid be rewarded by the parents for sharing? Or punished by the parent for not sharing?
Why?
All these is false when the kid grows up.
So why do people/parents teach things that aren't expected when they grow up?
Could this end up making them less successful in future?
Compassion can be taught in other ways. Helping the less fortunate can be taught in other ways.
Why not ask the kid if he's done playing with the item, whether it's ok to lend it to the friend, or the sibling? Why should they share it at the same time that they want to play it?
Personally, I think it encourages wrong behaviour from both sides. The kid being forced to share, and also the kid who gets the freebie.
Cos the kid who gets the freebie learns that he can get something without giving something in return.
This is the perfect lesson for kids to learn.
Should they learn to trade instead?
Should the kid with the toy learn that if he doesn't lend the toy now, he might receive the same treatment the next time when someone else has something he wants.
And what's wrong with capitalizing on things that the kid owns.
Many of us grow up without learning how to capitalize on the skills and assets we have.
We are made to feel guilty of privilege. Why? That should not be the case.
People should be able to capitalize on whatever privilege they have. That is how the world works.
Should we help others? That is a moral question.
Same like asking if we should share as kids.
BUT... also same as the lessons we learn as kids.
If we don't help people when we grow up and there's significant homelessness and poverty on the streets, then there becomes social unrest, which goes against the interests of the privileged.
Same as...
If the kid doesn't share, next time others may not want to share with him.
But yet, the scenario isn't always true. Cos maybe the kid will never meet this other kid again. Maybe the other kid doesn't have anything to trade. Which is well... truthfully, too bad.
Cos that's what the real world is like.
It's like people who have asked me to help out social causes cos I'm now in the privileged position of not having to work.
Huh? Why?
I "sacrificed" when I was younger to be where I am. I should be allowed to enjoy what I worked for.
Instead, when I reach here, I'm expected to do something else which I have no interest in? Then, why did I attempt to reach here in the first place?
(Sacrificed is subjective, cos each person deems sacrifice differently.)
Ok so sharing is very different from building a society.
Socialism, taxing the wealthy, and distributing wealth and helping others is with the focused objective to build a whole society.
In this case, everyone is forced to contribute in specific ways to help lift up the less fortunate. Which is absolutely ok. Cos there is an actual objective for the overall good of everyone.
Whereas, in the case of sharing toys as kids, I find it, truthfully, sharing for sharings' sake.
Kids are learning life lessons in these instances.
And for me, such lessons do nothing to help the kid function in the real world.
I've seen kids expect to get what they ask for, just as long as they "ask nicely".
And I've also seen kids who are expected by parents to give in to another kid, just cos the other kid "asked nicely".
The toy is mine! Why should I lend it or share it?
Unless I really want to.
Maybe the toy is precious to the kid? Maybe he's scared the other kid might spoil it?
And... what's wrong be being selfish anyway?
That's what life is about most of the time.
So why not teach a kid lessons that will be relevant when they grow up?
<<PREVIOUS POST // NEXT POST>>
Did you like this post? If so, could you "blanjah" me 1/4 cup of my morning coffee pls.
You may also consider subscribing to receive the articles in your email, link in the column on the right.