Sex sells. I hope I get more clicks.
Well... This is ERSG... So obviously it's not going to be about sex ed.
I'm talking about life.
Your colleague asks you. How are you?
You reply, fine thank you.
It's just a greeting. You talk to your friends. Everything is fine and dandy...
You post on FB... It's always nice...
Everything's great in life....
Or is it???
Everyone has struggles.
All the time, sometimes, some feel it stronger, some feel it less, some can cope with it better than others...
And somehow, it's been so socially unacceptable to show this... Weakness... Cos struggles as perceived as such... Weaknesses.
And that's a problem...
People have difficulty communicating their issues... And this is made worse that people also don't know how to react when people come to them with issues.
So people just don't express things. Cos listeners don't know how to handle it. And it's hard to find someone willing to listen. And it's also hard to find someone who's going to understand and relate to it. So ends up... Most of the time, people... We... Bottle in a lot of our feelings and troubles with no or little ways to get relief.
And this is what it is... Faking an orgasm... Showing that you're enjoying it when you're not really enjoying it. Putting on a show to make the other person... Or society feel like you're doing ok, when things aren't really ok.
It's not like I don't have struggles and issues. I do... I've learnt to cope with them... From these posts... I doubt readers would know about my fears and insecurities.
Just cos I semi-retired early, doesn't mean life is all smooth sailing. Other issues crop up. Issues like planning for the future, whether finances are enough, boredom, lack of company, etc...
And of course different people tackle their issues differently. I've managed to address and get a control of most of my issues.
But some people aren't able to, and there's no shame in that, and there's no shame in asking for help. But also, most of the time, it's not easy to get help, cos they don't know who to turn to, cos... The problem is... Most of the time, we have avoided talking about issues so much that we, as listeners aren't as able to listen and handle such interactions when help is needed.
If I told everyone I was having troubles or insecure. Most people would say. ERSG relax... Everything is ok. Look at the cleaner or the tissue seller. Those are the folks who should be insecure. Not you... Simply put... Usually we try to make the other person feel better by trying to give a relative perspective that someone else is worse and that the person isn't doing so bad and shouldn't feel like they should have any issues...
BUT, this is in essence brushing away and trivializing their concerns and worries. So they stop talking... They stop talking to you... And the approach someone else... And what happens? Usually? The same thing... And after a while... These people shut off. They don't talk to anyone else. Cos no one is going to understand or relate to them. Everyone just says that they are doing fine... But it's not. The cleaner has his own issues. But his issues aren't my issues and aren't your friends' issues... All our issues and troubles are different but we feel them with our own minds and emotions.
The cleaner may have financial insecurities but he may mentally be able to handle them better than me. And maybe I need help. So stop comparing me to him...
You remember when you were in primary or secondary school? Most of us have best friends. We talked about anything, talked on the phone for hours, gossiped about people, talked about what we like, what we don't like... It's really innocent. But it allows us to express our feelings and when we are young, we don't get caught up in the societal norm that expressing fear and troubles are weaknesses... We don't judge as much or fear being judged as much... But as we grow older, we talk less on the phone. We express things less. We curate the posts on FB to make everyone think that life is great. We have less time for each other, we have less time talking about our lives and expressing ourselves become more difficult.
And this sucks. But yet it is what it is. Most if not all of us fake an orgasm to the world. We are having a great time. We don't want others to think we are losers. And of course social media isn't helping, cos we always see people having a great time on their FB and we think they are having a great time. But yet probably they are faking their orgasm as well. But we don't see that so people may end up thinking, how come so and so can travel so much, can buy a big car and I'm still such an under achiever.
So think about it. What do you really feel. Are you as happy as your FB posts suggests? Are you as happy in reality as what you show your friends? Family? Colleagues? Remember yesterday's post? Everyone sees you differently.
Are you happy? Do you need help? How about your friends? Maybe they need help. Have you been a good listening ear? Maybe it's time to start being one.
*PS. I currently don't have any fears and insecurities so if any of my friends are reading this. I'm doing ok.
Hmmm... Or maybe I'm just in denial... Who knows...
<<PREVIOUS POST // NEXT POST>>
Did you like this post? If so, could you "blanjah" me 1/4 cup of my morning coffee pls.
You may also consider subscribing to receive the articles in your email, link in the column on the right.
Well... This is ERSG... So obviously it's not going to be about sex ed.
I'm talking about life.
Your colleague asks you. How are you?
You reply, fine thank you.
It's just a greeting. You talk to your friends. Everything is fine and dandy...
You post on FB... It's always nice...
Everything's great in life....
Or is it???
Everyone has struggles.
All the time, sometimes, some feel it stronger, some feel it less, some can cope with it better than others...
And somehow, it's been so socially unacceptable to show this... Weakness... Cos struggles as perceived as such... Weaknesses.
And that's a problem...
People have difficulty communicating their issues... And this is made worse that people also don't know how to react when people come to them with issues.
So people just don't express things. Cos listeners don't know how to handle it. And it's hard to find someone willing to listen. And it's also hard to find someone who's going to understand and relate to it. So ends up... Most of the time, people... We... Bottle in a lot of our feelings and troubles with no or little ways to get relief.
And this is what it is... Faking an orgasm... Showing that you're enjoying it when you're not really enjoying it. Putting on a show to make the other person... Or society feel like you're doing ok, when things aren't really ok.
It's not like I don't have struggles and issues. I do... I've learnt to cope with them... From these posts... I doubt readers would know about my fears and insecurities.
Just cos I semi-retired early, doesn't mean life is all smooth sailing. Other issues crop up. Issues like planning for the future, whether finances are enough, boredom, lack of company, etc...
And of course different people tackle their issues differently. I've managed to address and get a control of most of my issues.
But some people aren't able to, and there's no shame in that, and there's no shame in asking for help. But also, most of the time, it's not easy to get help, cos they don't know who to turn to, cos... The problem is... Most of the time, we have avoided talking about issues so much that we, as listeners aren't as able to listen and handle such interactions when help is needed.
If I told everyone I was having troubles or insecure. Most people would say. ERSG relax... Everything is ok. Look at the cleaner or the tissue seller. Those are the folks who should be insecure. Not you... Simply put... Usually we try to make the other person feel better by trying to give a relative perspective that someone else is worse and that the person isn't doing so bad and shouldn't feel like they should have any issues...
BUT, this is in essence brushing away and trivializing their concerns and worries. So they stop talking... They stop talking to you... And the approach someone else... And what happens? Usually? The same thing... And after a while... These people shut off. They don't talk to anyone else. Cos no one is going to understand or relate to them. Everyone just says that they are doing fine... But it's not. The cleaner has his own issues. But his issues aren't my issues and aren't your friends' issues... All our issues and troubles are different but we feel them with our own minds and emotions.
The cleaner may have financial insecurities but he may mentally be able to handle them better than me. And maybe I need help. So stop comparing me to him...
You remember when you were in primary or secondary school? Most of us have best friends. We talked about anything, talked on the phone for hours, gossiped about people, talked about what we like, what we don't like... It's really innocent. But it allows us to express our feelings and when we are young, we don't get caught up in the societal norm that expressing fear and troubles are weaknesses... We don't judge as much or fear being judged as much... But as we grow older, we talk less on the phone. We express things less. We curate the posts on FB to make everyone think that life is great. We have less time for each other, we have less time talking about our lives and expressing ourselves become more difficult.
And this sucks. But yet it is what it is. Most if not all of us fake an orgasm to the world. We are having a great time. We don't want others to think we are losers. And of course social media isn't helping, cos we always see people having a great time on their FB and we think they are having a great time. But yet probably they are faking their orgasm as well. But we don't see that so people may end up thinking, how come so and so can travel so much, can buy a big car and I'm still such an under achiever.
So think about it. What do you really feel. Are you as happy as your FB posts suggests? Are you as happy in reality as what you show your friends? Family? Colleagues? Remember yesterday's post? Everyone sees you differently.
Are you happy? Do you need help? How about your friends? Maybe they need help. Have you been a good listening ear? Maybe it's time to start being one.
*PS. I currently don't have any fears and insecurities so if any of my friends are reading this. I'm doing ok.
Hmmm... Or maybe I'm just in denial... Who knows...
<<PREVIOUS POST // NEXT POST>>
Did you like this post? If so, could you "blanjah" me 1/4 cup of my morning coffee pls.
You may also consider subscribing to receive the articles in your email, link in the column on the right.
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