I realized I started having difficulty talking with many people on a deeper level.
It's like... a different frequency.
I would feel that, personally, I have a range of interests. Like, I like learning about luxury products, even though I don't buy them, I like cars, guns, the universe, science topics, cooking topics, games... etc... I don't really like media and entertainment...
So I thought that having a conversation with people would be easy, but as I grew older, I found it harder and harder...
Cos... Thing is... there really isn't much to talk about.
Or at least to me, I feel there's very little to say.
You see, I don't like to talk about things that "cannot be helped" or out of my control.
So when people talk about climate change, or politics... Ok, I have some opinions, but... so what?
2 people talking or 10 people having a discussion won't change the world.
It's basically a pat on your/my own back thinking... "well done, I've make people see my view", or "I'm smart, I've read about these so I can add to the conversation"...
But... so what?
Talking is ... just talk. So end up... I don't say much, cos to me, it's valueless.
There's nothing to prove, there's no action that will change things.
And so... most of the time, I just keep quiet, or just say "OK".
Even for financial planning or retirement discussions...
It's not a debate. Early retirement is possible.
The question is always what are you willing to live with. And if the person isn't willing to live with less, then early retirement is not possible. It's simple.
So once again, nothing to discuss or debate.
Or when people talk about their dreams or some crazy business idea...
I also... keep quiet. Cos, I know most likely not going to happen.
Dreams are easy to talk about, cos it just involves moving the mouth. Same as business ideas.
I think I'm at this point in life where nothing really matters.
Who am I trying to convince? Why am I discussing something with someone.
Is there a need to bounce ideas around with someone else? When there's so much info on the internet?
I could talk about religion, or evolution or whatever topic with someone... or I could do research online.
What additional knowledge could that "someone" bring to the table? This person cannot be worth more than the internet.
In the end, I feel it's hard to get into an in-depth topic with anyone these days. End up, I'm talking about, how's life? How are things going? What have you been doing? How's the kids?
I don't discuss what's the latest k-drama being shown... I don't discuss work topics, cos I don't work. The very idea of talking about office politics is super turn off for me. I just don't relate to it anymore.
So there's nothing really much to say. Cos, the conversation has ended even before it has begun. I think it's a personality problem. Cos to me, there's no action item required at the end of the discussion so end up, to me, it's not worth talking, cos... doesn't change anything. The world doesn't change, or I don't change...
OMG I'm turning into a hermit!
Now, of course, once in awhile, there's a nice discussion, maybe I might meet someone whom I find interesting, who has new information, data on a fancy topic that I never knew I was interested in.
Example was last time I wasn't interested in luxury watches, but someone was talking about them and I was listening intently cos it was interesting. I never knew I was interested until I met someone who could introduce it to me.
But that's more of... data and information acquisition.
It's not really a discussion. For such conversations, I'm really interested, I try to ask questions, try to keep them talking, cos there's a lot to learn. But it's not easy to find such people to talk with.
Most people are just interested to complain about things, about money not enough, the sad state of politics, how expensive things are, medical bills too high.
Of which... There isn't much for me to say, cos... these are the state of things. Complaining doesn't help.
Rather, knowing these, what can you/I do about it?
Knowing that money is not enough, what can we do about it?
Complaining about it, saying "ya lor, always so broke", doesn't help either party.
Knowing that politics is dirty and underhanded. Doesn't change things.
It's a sad state, but that's a fact, so what can be done? If nothing, then move on and adapt. Else find a way to migrate. But note, that every country has it's issues.
Medical bills too high? Then get insured. End of story, nothing else to discuss here.
Even in the US, the current protests about "Black Lives Matter". I agree with it, but what are the expected changes? Who's spearheading these changes? Just protesting without an agenda doesn't change things. It's like how "Occupy Wall Street" started and ended with nothing.
So to end... that's why I'm feeling it's hard for me to keep a conversation these days.
Cos... there's no action items most of the time. Most people are just complaining or ranting. Which is, for me, quite pointless. So end up, I have nothing to contribute to the conversation.
Quite a sad situation, I feel... Cos I tend to have difficulty relating to people these days.
I think... really different frequency...
<<PREVIOUS POST // NEXT POST>>
Did you like this post? If so, could you "blanjah" me 1/4 cup of my morning coffee pls.
You may also consider subscribing to receive the articles in your email, link in the column on the right.