But more often than not, when someone is generous, people don't say he is cheapo.
If you buy me a meal, not necessarily an expensive one, I will probably not think you are cheapo. Cos, I don't expect people to buy me meals and anyone generous enough to buy me a meal probably isn't cheapo...
So when someone was telling me a story that their friend brought their kids to the zoo and refused to buy a drink for the kids in the hot weather, cos zoo products are expensive (I agree), and how cheapo that parent was, what came to my mind wasn't to "slam" or "criticize" the parent.
Cos I understand, food and drinks at tourist spots are unnecessarily expensive. So I thought, hmmm... what would be a win-win solution? For the parent to provide the kid a drink AND still not pay exorbitant prices for it.
What came to mind was how the freegans do it. Simply put, they are always ready. The more serious freegans who try to live without spending, they are always ready. They always have a drink in the bag and food. And the thing is... they are also generous. When I go out with them, most of the time, they will offer me a drink, usually water or some packet drink, and food, usually some bread.
And to me, that's good enough, I don't expect people to be providing me with food and drink, so when anyone offers, I think that's generous enough.
Where they got it from is irrelevant. As long as the food and drink is clean and fit for human consumption, that's fine. Sometimes, they get it from the dumpster in nice individual packaging, or they may get it from the store owner at the end of the day, I don't really bother...
Now how do I relate this to the above?
I'm not saying that the parent should dumpster dive for free food and drink, but rather the idea of being prepared. If he wants to be frugal, or extremely frugal, he could bring water, ice lemon tea, etc, some food, whatever.
This changes the whole perception of things.
Cos why? Usually, when someone calls someone else cheapo, it's when it is perceived necessary to spend, but the person doesn't spend.
So if it's hot weather and the kids are thirsty, I think it's pretty reasonable to get a drink for the kids.
But if there's already food and drink available in the bag, then... who's to say anything. And if you're really prepared, you can even provide a COLD drink.
(Freeze some packet drinks, leave some packets unfrozen, the frozen ones will keep the others cool. They don't melt very fast if you keep them in appropriate conditions.)
And if he can provide a cold drink, HECK, I would think this person has foresight and probably damn smart, and the term "cheapo" would never have crossed my mind.
Of course it's inconvenient, being cheapo or frugal has a cost. Duhz??? Money buys convenience.
So if you want convenience, use money. Then you can go to the zoo without carrying anything and spend good money for a nice cold drink.
If he/she/you want to be frugal, without looking cheapo, then some effort is necessary. Nothing really comes for free.
Whether it's worth the effort or not, it's up to the individual.
Let's look at other scenarios and how being prepared or thinking out of the box can make someone look generous instead of cheapo.
Your group of friends want to meet for dinner at a restaurant at $50 per person. If you bring your partner, it would cost $100 for the both of you.
Potentially, an alternative would be to invite the people to your place for steamboat, fully paid by yourself. With around the same price, you could feed everyone in the group, (depending on the size of the group) and look generous, cos you're sponsoring the whole thing.
And people will likely bring gifts cos you're sponsoring. Or next time they may offer to sponsor the next event, and any excess food is kept for your own consumption for the rest of the week, etc...
And obviously... there is the cost of cleaning up and all that... so it depends on the individual on whether it's worth it or not. Some people really love to host and have steamboat at home so... why not? And your friends may think... "Woohoo! Free food." But they'll bring a gift more often than not.
Or when it's time for Chinese New Year and Mid Autumn Festival. Some families have a habit to gift new year goodies and mooncakes to their parents... Well, there's always the option of making it yourself. You can always "brand" it as, "I always think those found outside has a lot of preservatives and are too sweet, so I make my own healthier version to give away."
A lot of effort, but it's probably cheaper than buying it. Mooncakes are ridiculously expensive. Cos the paste is just made in one big pot and the crust is just a simple flour mixture.
If you don't want to see doctor cos you're having a common cold or flu and don't want to waste money... Then make sure you have lots of medicine from previous doctor visits to consume. Ok some people need to get an MC from the doctor cos of work. But let's say you don't need an MC and you're not feeling well, and you don't want to spend money to see a doctor.
Like for us, we have loads of medicine from our previous visits to the doctor, or sometimes when we go to Malaysia, we buy some generic medicine as well from the pharmacy, it's cheaper there so we stock up some stuff.
Of course if I don't get better after a few days, I'll go and consult a doctor la. Duhz. Self medicate is only good for around 2-3 days, if things don't get better means something could be very wrong and it's probably better to see a doctor.
Oh and a really cool skill to have... is the ability to repair a phone screen...
Cos most people usually throw away their phone if it has a cracked screen, or they just use it as a reason to upgrade their phones.
My phone screen has cracked so I was looking into unlocking this skill. A replacement screen is around $30 generally. So when people are throwing away their phones, you could just get it from them and repair it for a cheap price and use it.
You could look like you're changing phones every few months, but actually you're just repairing old phones, or you could see your friend has a cracked phone and you could "give" him one of your phones, which might look really new cos you repaired it. And he could exchange with you the cracked phone and you can repair it and "Woohoo" you've gotten a new phone!
Just due to this skill to repair cracked screens, it opens other possibilities.
Anyway, there's likely many other ways to look generous but could be actually cheapo.
The thing about it is to be prepared... like to learn a new skill, or to find an opportunity to learn the skill, like now, I have the perfect excuse to learn how to fix a phone screen, cos I have a cracked phone.
Or to be prepared and stock up medicine so that you can use it when necessary. (Please take note of expiry dates.)
Or bringing water around when you go to places which food and drink are expected to be more expensive than normal...
The thing is... money buys convenience and some skills which we lack.
Some things are worth buying, other things might not be worth it. It all depends on the individual to assess if it is worth it or not.
Some things might be easy to learn and happens often, like almost everyone has had a cracked screen before, so it's likely one of those skills which is really worth to learn
So in the end, it really is one point... be prepared
Yeah! Be prepared. We'll be prepared! For what?
For the death of the king
Is he sick?
No, fool! We're going to kill him. And Simba, too
Great idea! Who needs a king?
No king, no king! La la la la la!
Idiots! There will be a king!
But you said...
---I just couldn't resist...
Ya, so really, if we are more prepared, we don't need to spend so much money and not look cheapo.
Cos cheapo-ness is perceived that spending is necessary due to certain circumstances, but yet the person is still unwilling to spend even though it is perceived as necessary.
But when you're prepared, then spending is no longer perceived as necessary, cos everything is already available, so no one will say you are cheapo... you are simply... well prepared.
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