Different people look for different things and are happy with different things, and there's no need to condemn any idea just cos it doesn't work for yourself.
Anyway, I was talking with my friend recently. And she was talking about my lifestyle and she kept asking me what sacrifices I had to make to do what I do now.
And the answer that kept surprising her was... NOTHING...
And she could not understand it.
She said, "That cannot be, you must have given up something to live the way you do. Don't you miss being able to do other stuff when you were working?"
And I also could not understand why she could not understand it.
Cos... "No, I'm doing mostly the same thing as I did when I was working. I don't miss any food that I used to eat, my lifestyle is pretty much similar or better in terms of quality except that I'm now no longer working."
But as we chatted, things started to become clearer.
She asked me, "Don't you want to buy stuff? Like retail therapy, just going to Daiso and spending a couple of bucks and just picking out stuff to buy, it's not about the price..."
I answered, "Nope, I'm ok not buying stuff, if I don't need it, I don't buy it. If I need it, I don't mind paying a bit more for it. But generally, I don't need more stuff."
Then she asked, "Don't you feel like going out on weekends to eat and enjoy yourself?"
And I replied, "Yes I do go out on weekends, but not as often as most people and I don't spend so much on each meal. I've eaten expensive things before, but I'm ok with eating stuff which are fairly priced as well. There's not that much difference to me."
Then she continued, "You collect free vegetables, don't you want to choose what you want to eat? You're getting random vegetables, won't you need to buy the ingredients that you aren't able to obtain?"
And my answer to that was, "Nope, I'm perfectly happy with random vegetables. I like the idea that I collect random vegetables and I take it as a challenge to whip out what I can from what I obtain. Instead of I think of what I want to eat first then try to obtain all the ingredients for it."
"How about weekends? Don't you go out to eat? Or go out with friends?"
"Yes we still go out to eat on weekends maybe once a month but we are ok to eat at home. We enjoy my cooking. And I still meet friends, but we don't go out every week. I have a few close friends whom I meet more regularly and we eat at reasonably priced places. Other friends who aren't so close, we meat them maybe once a quarter. That doesn't add much to our overall expenses."
"But, but... there MUST be SOMETHING, you have given up..."
"Errm... but there isn't. I'm living pretty much the same as how I have when I was working in terms of overall lifestyle. In fact, I feel that my quality of life has increased."
And that's when she realized that all this is cos I was born different. Or maybe my character is different from others.
She realized that... I didn't have the normal desire to spend. To go out and play. To go out and find entertainment. To buy stuff. Etc...
Then she said...
"ERSG, you are just different, this whole lifestyle you are having is different from others. You feel that you have made no sacrifice cos you never did all those other stuff previously when you were working. So now, you still don't feel like you lost anything or sacrificed anything.
You may not know this, but most people DON'T function the way you do. People want to be able to have retail therapy, they want to go out and splurge on things, they like to go out and find entertainment and sign up for SPA packages. They like their new phones and gadgets.
YOU are the ABNORMALITY.
Why don't you look at the bunch in your community and tell me how many people could integrate and live with your current lifestyle. Why do you think they can't?"
And that's when it dawned upon me. Even in the freegan community, not many people managed to integrate their lifestyle to the same extent. There are a lot of people who still buy stuff. Getting free stuff is just supplementing their overall lifestyle but they did not give up spending on stuff. Cos to them, there will be sacrifices for some things that aren't so easy to obtain for free.
I'm ok with eating vegetables for 70% of my meals. I don't feel like I missed out on a lot.
I did miss roti prata so I went to buy 2 egg prata for $3. But overall I don't feel like I missed out on anything.
And all these realizations made me notice something as well... That I've been looking at everything from my own point of view. Cos... living like this is soooooo easy for me. So I think it's sooooo easy for everyone else. So when people condemn me in the comments, I wonder why all the hate.... But now.... I realize... that I'm the abnormal one. For most people, there WILL be sacrifices.
An example is like in school... there's always this smart boy who doesn't study but manages to get good grades. And he looks around and wonders... what's so hard about it?
And all the other students hate him for it, cos HE JUST DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO STUDY AND GET GOOD GRADES!!!
And I look at my own situation and now realize that the situation is very similar.
I feel like I haven't given up anything. Instead, I feel like my overall lifestyle has gotten better. That's cos my previous lifestyle was naturally frugal and I've been frugal all my life. I never wanted much.
Then there are most other people who naturally want stuff. And they must be baffled. How can ERSG live on so little. He MUST be suffering, he must have sacrificed a lot to live like this. He must be missing out on something.
So it's easy to conclude that I live like a beggar in the street, cos to them, my lifestyle currently, is to deny everything they ever wanted.
But yet to me... my lifestyle is good enough for me and I'm very happy with it.
And these give me a better insight to others. That actually, such change is hard. It's not second nature to everyone, and most people aren't frugal by nature. People struggle with their wants vs needs all the time. They have to budget and hold out on their wants so that they can fulfill their needs. Put off their wants to other months, or later in their life before they can indulge themselves.
And it's a tough mental struggle for many people...
But for me... there's no real struggle and I've taken it for granted.
I thought since it was easy for me, I thought it should be easy for others as well.
BUT... now I realize. It's not.
Somehow... people want things, stuff, things to eat, new experiences, whatever...
I may not understand it, but I now acknowledge that such desires are there in many other people and that it's not easy or going to be easy for me to relate to many people.
And my friend ended by saying...
"ERSG... you're in a sweet spot, this is just for you. Not many others are going to be able to emulate what you have done, cos you are born different, or your character is different, or whatever. You are able to so easily integrate into this lifestyle cos of that. You don't want anything. You are contented and happy as you are. Most other people aren't going to be able to accept it, or they will need to try very hard and make many sacrifices to live how you live."
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