Integration. Not the mathematical integration.
But rather integration of the different elements in our lives.
I always aim to integrate the different facets of my life.
What do I mean?
Well, to me, I want to accept all parts of my life as an extension.
Meaning, I don't think anything should be viewed as a chore. IF I think it is a chore, means something is wrong with the deed and I should amend or enhance it.
Another way of saying this is like trying to make the deed natural in my life. I should not need to make extra effort to perform this deed.
I used to do project management and streamlining when I was working. The trick to get things done, was to make processes natural. It needed to be part of a regular flow. If it is not part of a normal process, it was highly likely that the person performing the task would forget to do it or make mistakes when doing it. The point is not "it is his responsibility to do it". Rather, the point is that, even if it is someone responsibility, IF he misses it out or makes a mistake, you can punish him, but the mistake has already been made. So it is our job to ensure that the process is crafted such that it is what we call "idiot proof"
Read about https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poka-yoke
It's the idea of setting things up to minimize mistakes.
Why do you think many ATMs require you to remove the ATM card before dispensing money? This is to prevent people from forgetting to take their ATM cards.
Or why do you need to step on the brakes before you can switch to 'D' when you are in an auto car? So that you will have the brakes on when the car starts to move.
These are all very deliberate processes crafted by the folks who set up the systems.
But I digress... How or why do I mention it as part of my life?
Well, I think many things in life should be set up, especially those things which are hard to manage.
Like for savings.
I used to put my salary into my OCBC account, every month, I had a standing instruction to transfer a few thousand to my DBS account. And I would only spend what was in the DBS account. This limits the spending to a lower amount every month. When I got any increment, I would not even feel it. Cos the money available in the DBS account every month was the same.
Or my relationship with my wife. I feel that a relationship needs to be built on mutual understanding and a lot of communication. If the relationship is more stressful than it's worth, then I would not have continued my relationship with my wife. I know couples who don't get a long with their finances. They are always trying to spend their partners' money. So they "forget" to bring money when going out or purposely select more expensive things when the other party is paying.
Essentially, I believe that a relationship needs to be built together. If both parties are walking separate roads, then I think it takes a lot more effort to remain in the relationship.
So I would consider this integrating the relationship into my life. IF the relationship is a chore, then it shouldn't be pursued.
This also goes with children. I don't have kids... Yet... Maybe...
But I reckon, that IF I ever choose to have kids, I would want to build this as an active decision. I will want to take the good with the bad. Means I will want to experience the cleaning up, the puking, the tantrums, the teaching, feeding, bathing, along with the playing, etc...
Cos I see many young parents tend to just have kids then outsource all the rough parts to their domestic helpers of parents, then in the end, the parents pick and choose the parts which they want to do... Mainly go out and play with the kid.
I haven't found a good solution to integrating work yet. Previously, I was dragging myself to work. I'm hoping that someday I'll be able to find some form of income generating activity which I am absolutely thrilled to do and I will be chirping like a bird when I go to work everyday.
Same as exercise. I hope to find an activity that both of us would love to do regularly. Some form of game or something. Then we could have fun exercise on weekends... A problem is my wife just doesn't like physical activities... In general. So this has been an on going challenge. To find something that she might like AND for her to willingly continue to do it.
The thing is, I feel that many of these, and other activities are all important parts of life, and personally, I think we shouldn't view them as chores. So I wish to find an effective way to integrate them into my life so that somehow, I would willingly just do the tasks. Cos I think, if I have to do them as chores, 1) there is a high chance I will just stop doing it, or 2) I will be bitter and upset and not be happy when doing it. Both of which, means the whole experience is wastes/lost.
Yes, it's probably not easy to integrate everything. Sometimes, will just need to accept them as chores for the time being until something better comes along. But to me, my objective is to build all these into natural processes such that they become willing parts of my life...
Cos really... I think, all these are a part of my life. Not apart of my life.
So I want all of them to fit nicely.
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