I've posted something similar before.
I was thinking about stuff as usual.
I've recently been sending some free vegetables from my collections to my mum. And she's been grumbling that I'm overloading her and that she can really consume so much. So she passes them on to my sister...
I'm totally cool with that. But I was wondering. Why would she be grumbling at me??? More free food. What's so bad about that?
Then I remembered the days when I stayed with my parents. My mum always cooked a lot for dinner and I would usually clean up the table while muttering under my breath. Why cook so much? I'm trying to lose weight. But I "have" to finish the food, else it will be wasted.
Then I ran this simulation on many other scenarios.
Religion, finance, love, charity, etc etc...
For someone saved by Christ, they may want to spread the word. Some people are willing to listen and receive the word. Others are not. It doesn't matter how much Christ is supposed to love them. Some people just aren't into this...
I'm not a Christian. I'm just using this as an example.
Then there's finance. You can try to tell someone how to save and be frugal or they may ask me how I survive so long without a job. They are expecting a magical answer. My answer is simple. I just don't spend so much. And they pretty much "reject" the answer, cos that's not the answer they are looking for.
Or in love. You can love someone a lot. But they may not love you back. Some girls just like bad boys. And maybe you love her a lot but she just doesn't want your kind of love. I'm sure many of us have seen this when we were younger.
Even in charites, some charities only want good stuff. Some want nice fresh food from supermarkets so they reject free veges which may not look as nice.
Even the salvation army doesn't resell everything. A large bulk of what is given to salvation army is also disposed off.
When donating used books to the library, the library won't just take any book. They will also filter and take the books which they want.
The list goes on... And sometimes I get frustrated when I talk about getting stuff free, or eating expired food, or when I give my mum food and she grumbles, or when I talk about finance or frugal ideas which are rejected...
Then I remembered what I did to my mum. It's the same thing. Her love for me/us was to provide ample food on the table. More than we could eat. But that wasn't the kind of love we were looking for. What she wanted to give wasn't what we wanted to receive.
And as I go on with my journey... I think it's important to give people what they want to receive. Not just what we want to give. If my mum doesn't want extra free vegetables, I shouldn't give them to her. It adds additional stress on her unnecessarily. I can just pass it on to someone else who would be better able to utilize the food, and I even know who to pass it to.
So I can continue to spread my message... On free food, expired food, helping out with some charities, financial topics, frugal living, etc etc...
Those who want to listen will listen. Those who aren't willing to receive then I should just let them be.
When I cook. It doesn't matter how delicious I think my food is. If someone doesn't like that food, then that person just isn't into it... And I realize that this is reflected in many things in life. Not just finance topics or freegan living.
It could be the love given by a parent to a child. A parent may think he is doing the child a favour by putting the child through tuition, but the child hates it. Even though the parent might need to work harder to earn more money to engage a tutor.
Or a child may want attention from a parent by showing stuff that they have learnt... "Look what I've learnt from school mum!" Or "look at this nice picture I drew in school"...
But a parent may find this irritating cos they have had a long day and are just too tired to bother about such mediocre things that their child has done.
I suppose it's like giving a gift... You can give anyone a gift. They can accept it or reject it. Even if they accept it, they may not use it, they may sell it, they may not like it...
And in all these scenarios... We do what we can, with the best intentions. And if they don't like the gift, so be it. We can continue to try to make them accept and use the gift which would frustrate both the giver or receiver.
Or we could give the gift to someone who will accept the gift and thank the giver wholeheartedly.
Or we could change the gift and give them exactly what they want... IF we are willing to do so, cos what they want might not be good for them...
I suppose the past few weeks have been troublesome for my mum cos I've been loading her with vegetables, and I think now... I've been making a mistake. Since she isn't happily receiving this gift, I should just give it to someone else. And both me, the giver and the new receiver would both be happy.
Similarly... When I was younger... Since I did not appreciate the excess food on the table, she should have just cooked less everyday.
So really... It's not about what we want to give. It's about what the receiver wants to receive. The next time you get frustrated when someone rejects your good intentions, you may want to think about this.
*Reminder to myself as well...*
PS. I'm overseas again...
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Did you like this post? If so, could you "blanjah" me 1/4 cup of my morning coffee pls.
Many thanks for continuing to come to this blog to read my posts.
I was thinking about stuff as usual.
I've recently been sending some free vegetables from my collections to my mum. And she's been grumbling that I'm overloading her and that she can really consume so much. So she passes them on to my sister...
I'm totally cool with that. But I was wondering. Why would she be grumbling at me??? More free food. What's so bad about that?
Then I remembered the days when I stayed with my parents. My mum always cooked a lot for dinner and I would usually clean up the table while muttering under my breath. Why cook so much? I'm trying to lose weight. But I "have" to finish the food, else it will be wasted.
Then I ran this simulation on many other scenarios.
Religion, finance, love, charity, etc etc...
For someone saved by Christ, they may want to spread the word. Some people are willing to listen and receive the word. Others are not. It doesn't matter how much Christ is supposed to love them. Some people just aren't into this...
I'm not a Christian. I'm just using this as an example.
Then there's finance. You can try to tell someone how to save and be frugal or they may ask me how I survive so long without a job. They are expecting a magical answer. My answer is simple. I just don't spend so much. And they pretty much "reject" the answer, cos that's not the answer they are looking for.
Or in love. You can love someone a lot. But they may not love you back. Some girls just like bad boys. And maybe you love her a lot but she just doesn't want your kind of love. I'm sure many of us have seen this when we were younger.
Even in charites, some charities only want good stuff. Some want nice fresh food from supermarkets so they reject free veges which may not look as nice.
Even the salvation army doesn't resell everything. A large bulk of what is given to salvation army is also disposed off.
When donating used books to the library, the library won't just take any book. They will also filter and take the books which they want.
The list goes on... And sometimes I get frustrated when I talk about getting stuff free, or eating expired food, or when I give my mum food and she grumbles, or when I talk about finance or frugal ideas which are rejected...
Then I remembered what I did to my mum. It's the same thing. Her love for me/us was to provide ample food on the table. More than we could eat. But that wasn't the kind of love we were looking for. What she wanted to give wasn't what we wanted to receive.
And as I go on with my journey... I think it's important to give people what they want to receive. Not just what we want to give. If my mum doesn't want extra free vegetables, I shouldn't give them to her. It adds additional stress on her unnecessarily. I can just pass it on to someone else who would be better able to utilize the food, and I even know who to pass it to.
So I can continue to spread my message... On free food, expired food, helping out with some charities, financial topics, frugal living, etc etc...
Those who want to listen will listen. Those who aren't willing to receive then I should just let them be.
When I cook. It doesn't matter how delicious I think my food is. If someone doesn't like that food, then that person just isn't into it... And I realize that this is reflected in many things in life. Not just finance topics or freegan living.
It could be the love given by a parent to a child. A parent may think he is doing the child a favour by putting the child through tuition, but the child hates it. Even though the parent might need to work harder to earn more money to engage a tutor.
Or a child may want attention from a parent by showing stuff that they have learnt... "Look what I've learnt from school mum!" Or "look at this nice picture I drew in school"...
But a parent may find this irritating cos they have had a long day and are just too tired to bother about such mediocre things that their child has done.
I suppose it's like giving a gift... You can give anyone a gift. They can accept it or reject it. Even if they accept it, they may not use it, they may sell it, they may not like it...
And in all these scenarios... We do what we can, with the best intentions. And if they don't like the gift, so be it. We can continue to try to make them accept and use the gift which would frustrate both the giver or receiver.
Or we could give the gift to someone who will accept the gift and thank the giver wholeheartedly.
Or we could change the gift and give them exactly what they want... IF we are willing to do so, cos what they want might not be good for them...
I suppose the past few weeks have been troublesome for my mum cos I've been loading her with vegetables, and I think now... I've been making a mistake. Since she isn't happily receiving this gift, I should just give it to someone else. And both me, the giver and the new receiver would both be happy.
Similarly... When I was younger... Since I did not appreciate the excess food on the table, she should have just cooked less everyday.
So really... It's not about what we want to give. It's about what the receiver wants to receive. The next time you get frustrated when someone rejects your good intentions, you may want to think about this.
*Reminder to myself as well...*
PS. I'm overseas again...
<<PREVIOUS POST // NEXT POST>>
Did you like this post? If so, could you "blanjah" me 1/4 cup of my morning coffee pls.
Many thanks for continuing to come to this blog to read my posts.
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