Life is like an RPG, role playing game.
You're free to do almost anything.
Recently I spoke with a few people who are having issues with life.
I've been in their state before. Being in the middle of nowhere.
Don't like the current situation, but also don't know what's next, what to do next, don't know what will make me happy so that I can move towards that direction.
When I was younger. I wasn't happy with work.
Many of you know that.
And the thing is, I always hoped the road would just appear in front of me, telling me what's next.
Like in some show, where a loser gets approached by someone and gets an offer to be some great being, or "you need to follow your destiny", kinda situation.
Or that... life will work out in the end.
That's what happens in most books and shows.
And the thing is, that's just not true.
In school, we take things one step at a time, it's a natural progression, primary school, secondary school, then maybe go ITE, poly, uni, etc...
Then many people just go and work at whatever job...
And some people settle down quickly and are easily contented and life goes on. Which is great.
And other people may not be as lucky, and they get into issues with work, relationships, money, etc...
And a lot of times, they end up staying in that problematic issue for a long time, stuck without knowing how to progress.
They know they have to give up the current situation to move on. BUT... they already have so "little" that and they are afraid of giving up what "little" they have to move on. Cos the mentality is... "I already have so little, what if I do something and I get even LESS!"
(Not just about money, but general situation in life, feelings, relationships, job, etc.)
And ... they hope something will happen, someone will come and rescue them, or some sign telling them what to do...
Maybe they hope they strike lottery,
or they hope they fall into a cave and find some "super power kungfu" moves engraved on the wall,
or an old fogey will come and give them a metal cylinder and say "Your father's lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight."
or maybe they hope to accidentally eat a fruit and start having rubber powers which can punch really hard but somehow they lose the ability to swim,
or they hope that maybe they have a 9 tailed fox sealed within them and they eventually learn to control its power,
the thing is... most of the time, I, we, they, we all want the circumstances to change that will show us the way forward. I was like this before too. I also was looking for answers.
We look at ourselves as the main character of a story and hope the story unfolds nicely.
When we read a story, watch a show, we all have an expectation that the story will end... pretty well.
BUT... Imagine you're one of the characters in the story. Do you think as a character, they know that they will survive the mission?
To them, it's a day in their life. They could choose to hang around feeling sad that life isn't working for them. They could choose not to take part in the rebellion, or not to travel the world, or not to train to learn new skills.
As a character in the story, they don't know that they will become a hero, but as a reader, WE KNOW that they will become the hero. So it's easy to say, "Oh if presented with the opportunity, I'm sure I'll take it."
THAT'S COS WE KNOW THE STORY WILL END NICELY!
But the character in the story wouldn't know that as he/she is living through the story. To THEM, they could likely die in the next mission.
And that's the same for our lives. We don't know what's next. Someone coming to give you advice... IS similar to the old man passing you a cylindrical tube. The question is, what are you going to do with that tube? Just keep in the drawer or take the next starship off the planet?
Cos it's similar... the character in the show, could just tell the old fogey, "Look, you don't understand, it's hard, I can't just leave all these behind." and just return the cylindrical object to the old guy.
I imagine life is close to a perma-death RPG with no restarts, no save points, no guides and no walk throughs available. You just play, and try to enjoy the game. If you make the wrong decision in the game, you die, if you do something wrong, you lose money, or health points, if you learn the wrong skills, then you waste time and you waste skill points, if you train the wrong stats, then too bad, you make do with whatever stats you added.
BUT... the thing about it is... how I look at it, is... well, the main point of the game is to stay alive and have fun.
So what if I added the wrong stats? So what if I earned less in game money?
So what if the other player is stronger, or weaker than me?
If you end up feeling sad that you added the wrong stats. Then... how? What are you going to do about it? Can't do anything right? Quickly move on and enjoy the other parts of the game. Else what's the point? Can't reset the game anyway right? Recognize that you added the wrong stats and move on. Don't try to change your game to suit the stats. Then you'll not enjoy the game as much.
Like maybe I wanted to be a warrior, but added magic points... damn... wasted my stat points.
There's 2 ways I could handle this.
I could... maybe become a battle mage, which is ok as well if I'm happy to play battle mage.
BUT... maybe being a battle mage isn't what I want to be, and I'll be unhappy being a battle mage, then I just need to quickly move on from my initial wrong decision. Cos I'll still want to be a warrior. Instead of wasting time thinking about what could have been IF I had added the right stats, I can just go out and train more, enjoy the game more, and just be the best warrior that I can be even though I have some stats in magic points.
In real life, EVERYONE has made mistakes before. It's HOW each of us handle our individual setbacks that determines how we continue the game.
Many times, people are stuck... and even worse, they don't know why they are stuck.
They don't know what's the real issue. Or they don't admit to themselves what's the real issue.
Example... I want to be rich. I feel miserable cos I don't have the opportunity, I live in the wrong times, if only I was born earlier in my parents generation, things would be easier.
In reality... the real problem could simply be ... I'm lazy, I don't like to take risks, I don't want to change myself to become the person I need to be to achieve my goals.
Let that sink in a little.
To become someone I need to be to attain my goals. You can't attain your goals being the person you are now. You have what you have now, you are what you are now, your current situation in life, because you are who you are NOW. If you want something more, if you want to improve some particular aspect in your life, you need to become someone else. A smarter version of yourself, a stronger person, a more mentally resilient self, a more hardworking self, etc... (or be extremely lucky and strike the lottery)
I was here before. I wanted the answers to appear. Some circumstance change that would show me the way.
In the end, I was the one who needed to change. The answers appear in many forms. Many different ideas. Suggestions by people, books, online help, etc... But it's up to me to take up the ideas and run with them. When I first started, I just kept rejecting the ideas. Cos similarly, I had "little" and I was afraid to lose what "little" I had.
I was unhappy with my work. Miserable. I was upset that I didn't get into the right industry when I first started out. Leading to me starting on a career path which I didn't enjoy.
Similar to adding wrong stats in life.
Many ideas and suggestions came. Change job, study again, learn a new trade, etc... BUT... I CHOSE to stay in my old job, cos it payed well... (afraid to lose what "little" I had)
It was my CHOICE.
Cos... what if I changed job and it pays little AND I STILL DON'T like it!!!
BUT... I accept that it is MY CHOICE. I was afraid to lose the salary.
BUT... all was not lost. Cos I had a plan for the future. Which was to save and quit my job. Which is what I did.
BUT... the problem did not end there. I still had insecurities and thoughts of "what do I want to do with my life". After that it became a self cultivation, of understanding myself and overcoming my own mentality.
Many things in life are choices.
You can say you're constrained by circumstances. I agree.
Some people are born with less opportunity, some people have commitments, others have made tough mistakes that will follow them through their whole lives, making further progress even more difficult.
It's tough.
But simply put... what are you going to do about it?
It's easy to say, "All these things constrain me, <insert list of things>."
And the response is pretty much...... so?
It's easy to live our lives saying all these things constrain me, so I can't do <insert whatever you want>, and just be paralyzed and stay in that position.
Or you can say... Ok. These things constrain me. What are my options? What are my plans? HOW, do I move on to the next advantageous position in life? Where do I want to be next?
(Staying still is ok, if you're ok with it. That's your choice as well.)
Cos... the best way to stay in that position is to do nothing.
The best way to get out of that position is to plan and do something, and to actually do something.
If you think that you're already doing "something", and that "something" is not working, then do something else. Cos just buy thinking that you're doing "something" about it, but it's not working, means you're already back at the doing NOTHING stage.
Thinking that you're doing something when it's actually not working is actually doing nothing, but just telling yourself that you're doing something. (ie, I'm already putting a lot of effort into <insert whatever you want>). No. Maybe... just maybe, it's time to recognize that this option has failed and try another option, or change your mentality about something, or another method, or whatever... BUT, sometimes things take time to take effect, so need to be smart to know when is the time to move on and try another path.
Yes, people can say they have kids, commitments, illnesses, depression, etc...
I agree. All these make things hard, or harder.
But... what else is there left to do? Stand still?
I can't live your life for you.
I can't make decisions for you.
I can chat with you, give some options, advice, etc, but... after 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, if you've not made any plans, or changes, or adapted, then, what else can I or others do for you?
I can't let you make my life tough and miserable as well. Negativity will impact my own well-being.
Eventually, you have to make your own changes, adapt, move on, or basically, live the rest of your life being miserable blaming external factors.
You're responsible for how you play your RPG. You're responsible for your own happiness. It's not for me to help you enjoy the RPG. I can only give you so much help, but I need to enjoy the RPG my own way, and you need to enjoy the RPG whatever way you choose.
You can live your life as though nothing is within your control and be bitter about it.
Or you can live your life as though everything is in your control and take responsibility for it.
Or somewhere in between, cos in reality not everything is within out control.
That's all there is to it.
You can say anything you want. You can scold me for being insensitive, you can say I'm talking nonsense, or I don't understand, or whatever circumstances is restricting you.
That's ok... cos... in the end, it's not my life.
Cos after scolding me, my life goes on in whatever state I choose it to be, and your life goes on in whatever state you choose it to be.
You can scold me, and you can walk away thinking that you're right and justified in your point.
But in the end, you'll still have to live your life.
You are who you are now, mistakes, opportunities, knowledge, lack of knowledge, sickness, health, whatever.
That's what you have now. At this current moment. These are your "stats" in the game, or "handicaps".
How you manage your next steps is now up to you.
So... how do YOU want to play your game?
Cos... that's what it is. YOUR GAME.
It's not a fairy tale. It might not end nicely. It's up to you to determine how you want your story to go.
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