It's not so much as buying cheap stuff, but buying less stuff and actually using the stuff that matter.
Pretty much decluttering and keep the useful stuff and dump the rest which is just taking up space.
In Paris, something unique happened.
You see, I'm here, pretty much alone with my wife.
I don't know anything, can't read much local news, low information diet, no one tells me what to do? No one knows me, no preexisting social expectations, etc?
There's nothing here which links me to my old life.
I mean I do talk to my mum once in a while but, the society and life which had followed me through my youth has suddenly disappeared.
Suddenly.. I'm free...
It's kinda like... my house burned down, and I got my insurance payout and now I can buy my own house with no excess baggage. I can buy the clothes I need, don't need to think about what to do with the old clothes, cos they have been burnt, everything starts afresh...
Yes, it's a bit lonely, but I haven't been bothered much by being alone. My wife calls me a hermit.
I don't see friends, I don't see people who knew me in my old life. None of those previous social expectations, etc. I don't know anyone so there's no mental comparison, people don't ask me what I'm working as, I don't meet friends who are running the rat race where I'm unable to relate to, etc...
The past has pretty much... disappeared, or dropped to a really small percentage.
And I think this is really interesting. Cos... there's so much freedom in my mind. Like, I don't have to think about social responsibilities, what others think about me, what my neighbours think, what my family members think, what I should be doing, etc etc...
And I realize, usually, that it's really hard to unwind ourselves from this situation.
We hang with the same friends, we don't have new friends, so even if we want to live a new frugal life out of the norm, it's hard, cos... all our friends still want to go out and eat and go out and play and buy stuff. Then when we do our own things, our family may comment, why so cheapo, our friends may say why suffer and don't buy whatever for ourselves, etc.
Or maybe we don't want to go out with a group of friends cos we don't like the activity but, there's some sort of social obligation to continue to do so, etc.
Wedding dinners, family gatherings, etc.
There's so many examples of such instances.
If it's hard to declutter the home and live with less stuff, it's probably even harder to declutter the mind. Cos the mind has so much baggage from the past. Parents, families, friends, etc. When I scroll through Facebook, I look at "friends" posts. I cannot relate so such a life anymore. The stuff they buy, the things they do, the places they go, manicures, pedicures, pictures of bags, watches, food, food, food, more food.
Basically lots and lots of entertainment... and SPENDING.
And that's what's life is usually about. Work and entertainment.
So I think... what IF, I'm not me, what IF I'm not ERSG. Cos ERSG doesn't really give a damn about a lot of things, so I tend to don't care and life my life my own way.
What IF I'm pretty normal...
I think... it would be really really hard for someone to unwind from a normal life. Maybe this person would be interested to leave the rat race, willing to be frugal, saved up quite a bit, etc...
But...
There's all these social expectations... what would my friends think, what would my family think, etc?
"What? You gave up your career to do NOTHING?"
"Why you so stupid?"
"So what job are you going to do next?" "Huh? Nothing? You're so young, don't waste your life."
Woah... it's gonna be tough...
And... well... you gotta be willing to let go of those friends from the past, cos... they won't be living the same life as you. Maybe only a few good friends will stay, but most will have to fade into the background cos... life just isn't the same anymore. There's going to be little that both parties can relate to.
Recently, I went through my Facebook and unfriended some folks... I just don't think I'll ever meet them again, and I don't relate to their lives anymore, I really don't care what happens to them and I don't want to be updated about what they do.
Eventually, as you/I take up more activities, I'll find new friends, it's a slow process. It's like joining another company, you'll make new friends/colleagues in your new "line of work". Whatever your new hobby is going to be.
Then what about family? Woah... another hard issue. Well... I only meet certain family members regularly, the external family members I meet them once or twice a year. Other than that, I just meet my parents and my in-laws. So that's not too bad for me.
I just had to handle them after I left my job and life pretty much settled down.
Decluttering you rmind is also about not being busy and being able to stop and think about life.
Not to be so engrossed in work that everyday, you think you're just busy with work and no time to think or unwind. Chill...
Life goes on... If you miss that deadline, life goes on. If you get fired, life also goes on. The sun rises and it's a new day. Unless... you're in debt or have other commitments, then things get troublesome when you can't take care of your commitments. That's why it's so important to be financially healthy, such that you have the power to take control of your own life.
As I keep thinking about life and reflecting and drilling down into my thoughts... I come up with one line...
You know what's the biggest "problem" in life?
The biggest "problem" is that you are alive.
If you aren't alive, there's no stress, no issues to think about, don't need to think about money, social expectations, etc.
So... I realize... it's kinda my choice whether I want to view me being alive as a "problem" or not.
IF I stress about all these other nonsense, which ends up with me being unhappy, then life sucks, and being alive IS a problem.
But I decide that being alive is NOT a problem for me. All these other issues need to be handled and curated. It's like a bonsai, trim off the bad parts, keep the good parts.
I MUST enjoy being alive. If I do things that make my life suck, then why even bother being alive.
So some people may tell me, "you're lucky you don't have kids"...
So... are their kids a "problem"? Are they using their kids as an excuse not to be happy? Yes, sure kids require more financial planning. But, that's part of life right? It was a choice to have kids?
People tend to talk about struggling to raise kids, pay their mortgage, pay their bills, they hope that life will "settle down" in their later life. But most people don't think... all these are usually choices in life.
People chose to have kids, cos they thought that it would make them have a more fulfilling life. And truthfully, I hope they do have a more fulfilling life with your kids. And I hope they don't think of their kids as a "problem".
So let's remember... Life ISN'T a problem.
We work so that we can eat, buy clothes, a home, and enjoy. We have kids, so that we may have a more fulfilling life.
IF we feel that we are struggling everyday and things are out of hand and you feel overwhelmed, then... life HAS become a "problem", and that's the worst situation, cos... then what's the point of being alive then?
Cos... truthfully, that's what I see a lot of times. People struggle, people work, they try to be "successful", they try to be rich, they try to... whatever, and they try to... whatever again. Thinking that attaining something will make them happier. A lot of people live a life of trying to attain, chasing more, chasing even more, hoping that the next level of attainment will give them the happiness that so eludes them, so many people think that they are missing something and that they just need that little bit more to attain their happiness, they keep chasing something... instead of just... living.
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