The thing is... it's not that we don't have time. We all have time to do whatever we want.
We just don't have the right priority for it.
If you have time to watch TV, means you have time to exercise.
If you have time to work til 8pm, means you have chosen to prioritize work and money over time with your kids.
If you have time to take a 2 hour lunch, you could use 30 minutes a day to learn a new language.
I learnt French 10 minutes a day for over a year. That's 3650 minutes or 60 hours of lessons.
You may think that 10 minutes a day isn't worth a lot, but think about it. I looked at French words everyday for 10 minutes, EVERYDAY. Compare this with someone who learnt 1 hour a day for 60 days and then stops lessons. At the end of 1 year, who do you think will remember most of the words?
The thing is, we have time for anything we want, SURE, we don't have time to do everything. We all live in a world of priorities. And the thing is, we decide our priorities.
So what we perceive to be a lack of time, is usually a lack of priority of whatever activity we want to do.
We blame "time" or the lack of it, cos it's easier to blame time.
It's harder to blame ourselves. It's harder to say... I'm lazy, I'd rather watch TV than exercise.
It's easier to blame work and the boss for bad working timelines, than changing a job.
Both my wife and I typically left work on time. I know many people who work til late, I know many people who leave work on time. This leads me to conclude that there are sufficient jobs available for people to choose from such that they can obtain a job where they can achieve regular working hours.
The thing is... most of the time, the money is good, or maybe you love the job, so you don't want to change a new job... BUT, that's not the job's fault. I recognize that some jobs require some crazy hours and employees are ok with that.
But the thing is... that just means you're prioritizing money or the love of the job over something else, like maybe time with kids, or learning a new language, or exercise.
There's always a choice.
It may not be a good choice, but there's always a choice.
Some people complain that they have to support their kids and their parents resulting in the sandwich generation...
They say that they have no choice.
But is this true?
It's a choice isn't it? Sure, it's a bad choice and another bad choice.
The person needs to support the kids and parents, or the other choice is to well... don't support the parents as much. Give them less money, ask them to go McDonald's to work, or ask the kids to go McDonald's to work.
Still a choice, not a good choice, but a choice nonetheless.
It depends on the person's priorities.
Maybe the person prioritizes pride, or filial piety over themselves, they rather sacrifice themselves, work harder, work longer hours, than to ask their parents to go back to work, or they don't want to sell their car, or downgrade to a smaller place, or ask their parents to move in with them.
The thing is...
We all have choices, options, we have time, we have control over large portions of our lives.
The options aren't always great. Some options suck.
BUT, I think we need to remember, these are all choices. And we must remember what we are sacrificing and what we are getting in return, cos these are the priorities.
For example, someone who prioritizes career over family... well... that was a choice. And when the person is older, well... the person will have to live with the decision and any regret if any.
Same as someone who prioritizes TV over exercise... same thing... if that person ends up unhealthy, then well, they must remember they had 30 years of good TV watching and the sacrifice is maybe health.
It's not like the person didn't get anything in return. They did. They got many years of TV watching. I'm not saying that the value of TV watching is low. For all I know, the person values TV watching a lot and he should have the choice to choose TV watching over health IF he feels it's worth it.
Same as for me. I gave up my career. I wanted more free time to enjoy my life. I know I won't be super rich, I'll lag behind many of my friends. And that's my sacrifice. My priority. And we all have our own different priorities. For me, I prioritize living a chill life at 30+ years old, and I give up having a career and potentially earning a lot more money.
So next time we/you/I think about not enough of time, money, etc... think about what are we prioritizing.
Most of us have enough time and money to do a lot of things. We can't do everything. But we can do most of the things we want.
If you feel trapped by your circumstance, there's always options. The options may not be perfect and they may suck, but there's always options. If you don't want to change, then most likely you're prioritizing something else over something else.
Maybe it's pride, impression, fulfilling someone's expectations, societal expectations, money, career, laziness, etc.
I know someone like that, she feels trapped in her situation, parents expectations, wants to give her kids a certain lifestyle, unwilling to downgrade, always says she has no money, and she has depression, she's on some medication to handle her depression.
I've talked to her about her situation. Asked what she's willing to give up. She's not willing to give up anything to improve her mental state.
Her excuse/reason is... "I'm not like that, I'm not that kind of person to... I can't...".
So essentially, she has prioritized everything else above her own mental health. Maybe she's afraid of change, that means she has prioritized comfort of the situation and the status quo, etc...
It's a choice. So she can keep some of her priorities and she has to sacrifice things along the way.
Alternatively, she could sacrifice her lifestyle, break some parents expectations, downgrade her lifestyle and maybe she can get some mental health back... And once again, it's a choice.
Now, I'm not here to judge choices. Anyone can choose their own path. I'm just here to highlight that there are choices, the options aren't always good, but there ARE options.
And of course the options will require change and other sacrifices. So that's why it depends on your priorities.
Some choices take time and effort and planning. That's good too. For example, early retirement. It's a choice to work, save hard, spend less, maybe have less of a social life, pay of the mortgage early, etc...
Or as much as I grumble about being in Paris and maybe in Houston in future, it's also a choice for me. I chose to prioritize my wife's career. I could have not followed her to Paris. Or I could even fly back to SG without telling her any day. Sure, it's not a nice thing to do, and I'm sure that there will be consequences, but for the time being, I'm choosing to be here.
It's my "sacrifice" that together, we will be happier doing this for now and maybe it will be good for our future. Maybe it gives us other options in future, and so I'm prioritizing that over my own happiness for the time being.
So remember, whenever you think you don't have time, don't have money, or are feeling trapped in whatever situation you are in, ask yourself, what are you prioritizing? You can always walk away from a job, parents expectations, downgrade your lifestyle, etc... If you don't want to do it, means you're prioritizing something else over something else.
What are YOUR priorities?
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