Like really.
When I started watching, I was thinking, what is the quack going to say, like "What is the most important thing in your life right now?"
You know, money, food, air, water, my wife, kids, financial markets, global economy.
Then he said, "You're alive right now. Isn't it?"
Suddenly he didn't sound very much like a quack anymore.
Then he added that because you are alive right now, that's why all the other things are important right now. If you aren't alive then all these other things like money, spouse, kids, all aren't important anymore. There's really nothing to stress about if you're dead.
This really got me thinking. We humans think so much. Stress so much. But never really think about this very much. The fact that we are alive should very much be celebrated. That I should be glad that I can wake up today. That I'm not one of the millions who died overnight, that I'm not one of the people who are sick, that I can walk and do stuff. I think that's quite a lot which I should be glad about.
This got me thinking about the different "layers" in my life.
You know. Like what is derived from what. What is important and what is secondary.
So for my finances, I think the solution is very simple. Just find money.
With money and investments, I can settle my insurance to cover my unpreventable health issues, I can settle my house, food, clothing, and such. That's pretty simple.
Then there's health, that's my physical wellbeing. I can take care of myself with exercise and probably better diet, ie, eat proper food.
Then I think about my family. Whether they have money to spend or are they healthy. I can't really control if they exercise or eat properly. But I can help them if they are short of funds to take care of themselves.
Then there is this last portion which is purpose. What am I doing here? What makes me want to get up every morning. Some people love teaching, some like to take care of their kids, some love their jobs.
For me, I haven't really found my purpose yet. That is sometimes keeping me up at night.
It's strange. Cos I never really wanted to do anything when I was younger. I always thought about money. But after leaving my job and realizing that I don't really need much to live, I now think of stuff which I want to do. I wonder about peeople who wake up everyday loving their jobs. I think to these people, everyday is fun cos they like it so much. And I am jealous of that. I'm hoping to find something which I love to do and "work" at it. I'm not putting this in the same category as employment or back to work. There IS some difference in my own definition. I call this sweet spot "Purpose".
But now after watching the Youtube, I think back and consider. Yes I want to look for purpose. But yet I look for purpose cos I am alive. So now I think even if I am looking for purpose, I tell myself not to stress about it too much. Cos stressing about it too much defeats the initial purpose. Which is life itself. If I can't be glad that I'm alive, and stress over all these other stuff, then life itself has no meaning.
Although some people may think that it is all these stuff that makes life worth living, I feel differently. I feel that life should be enjoyed and all these stuff should be added on to make life even more enjoyable.
This also goes hand in hand with suicide. If something is stressing you out, then cut it off. There's no point to stop life due to some problems with XYZ. That's similar to cutting down the whole tree when you see one branch has problems. Which is a dumb thing to do.
Anyway back to purpose, cos this is the thing that's been bothering me. I think I've handled most of my life quite well. As in most of the facets of my life is stable. My finances are ok. My relationships with my wife, parents, most of my family members are ok. My friends are ok. My health is generally ok. A bit chubby but healthy enough. Somehow, I haven't gotten a hold on this "Purpose" and it has been bugging me.
I'm not particularly looking for employment. Rather, something which I am willing to spend the rest of my life to cultivate. If it earns me money then great. And I think that's what's really missing in my life currently. And I also think that it is due to Singaporean education system that many of us aren't able to find purpose with their life, cos most of us have been just following the system instead of exploring our interests. But no excuses. It's our life, it's for us to find our own way. Although the education system might make us robots. It doesn't mean we can't choose to do something else and explore what we want to do.
Anyway enough about this. I'll end todays post with a song by Westlife - Flying without wings.
Have you all really reflected upon the words of this song?
Lyrics are found below as well.
"Flying Without Wings"
[Shane:]
Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
[Mark:]
Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary nights
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
‘Cause who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete
[Shane:]
Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place
[Mark:]
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
‘Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
[Shane:]
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
[Mark:]
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings
-http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/westlife/flyingwithoutwings.html