They spent $110,000 on their wedding but had to deal with debt collectors after.
Glitzy weddings are lusted after and glossy magazines seem to always have the scoop on who has had the fanciest wedding this month.
But not everyone has pockets deep enough to afford a glamorous Big Day. And not every couple realises how expensive getting one can be.
Mr and Mrs Cayden Lee had a lavish do.
The breakdown: A bridal arch made of 999 fresh tulips from Holland and a tulip-shaped balloon ($12,000), 45 tables at a six-star Marina Bay area hotel.
Most of the money was borrowed and they were confident they would take up to two years to repay the money.
Mr Lee admits they have fought over the debts.
Today, they have made lifestyle changes to ease the strain on their finances, including only allowing themselves one treat a month - either a movie or going for a spa retreat.
Social psychologist Richard Lim says sometimes, parents put pressure on their child so they can impress relatives and friends.
Wedding planners The New Paper on Sunday spoke to say couples have champagne tastes on beer budgets.
Ms Pink Cheong, who has been in the business for a decade, shares that she has had clients who want to top the last best ceremony.
Madam Fatimah Mohsin, owner of The Wedding Gallery, says: "You just need to manage your expectations."
Read the full report in The New Paper on Sunday (Jan 5).
- Copied from Singapore Newpaper 5 Jan 2014http://www.tnp.sg/content/till-debt-do-us-part
My post today will not dwell on the loan aspect of this decision. But rather just on the costs itself vs what I did for myself. Regardless of whether you/I can afford it, my post today will just do a comparison of the costs and the rationale and mentality of the what others think when making these decisions.
If you go through the list, the main wedding costs are, the photography and banquet.
In my opinion, these 2 are the most unnecessary expenses. most of the time, the phototaking and photobook will not be viewed on a regular basis. Marketers are promoting the experience of phototaking rather than the actual use of the product. Furthermore, the experience of the phototaking was a hassle, hot, tiring and totally not worth the effort.
We decided to do away with all the excess and managed to find a photographer and make up artist trying to practice their craft. They provided their services for free. We now have all the original soft copies of the photos and arranged to make our own photobook.
For most banquets, the couple will have 2 march ins during the evening. They will make a grand entrance with much fanfare, then make a speech, take a seat to eat some dinner, then change into their 2nd dress and prepare for the 2nd march down, champagne popping, yum seng, and spend the rest of the night taking pictures with their 100s of guests.
Both of us decided that the wedding is not a performance to show to our friends and relatives. It was not to show off that we had the dress or march down or loudest yum seng. We saw the wedding as a time to have dinner with our family and friends and catch up with them. I was very happy to upgrade the menu to a set with better food. Lobsters instead of prawns, bigger ppc abalone per person, better fish, etc. As I expected them to appreciate the food and give a bigger ang pow. Unfortunately, this was not the case. But it's ok. I'm glad many of them enjoyed the food and I did not take much of a loss on the dinner anyway.
The honeymoon and ring are secondary expenses. I think these 2 are somewhat... only somewhat, necessary... Well, if I could do away with them it would be the best. But we already plan our trips once per quarter so it was about time for our quarterly trip anyway. We went to Osaka Japan for 10 days on a SGD3k budget. Not the most romantic of places but fair enough I suppose.
The ring is a very questionable item. Personally, I do not believe in it. But I think another way to look at it is a sign of respect. As the ring gives her something to show her friends. It's an unfortunate situation but the reality of it is that girls have friends and they do compare. There probably IS some sort of face which she needs to uphold with her friends. This was discussed between the both of us and we agreed to spend some funds on this.
I think the above comprises most of the wedding expenses of a wedding. As always I believe in balance. I think everyone is entitled to enjoy some parts of life without overspending. As long as it's all within some sort of control framework and you can live with the decision without regrets. I think that's the way life should be. It's not about scrimping and saving and not living life at all. But rather to get the best value out of the dollar you spend.
Oh and by the way, void deck weddings are NOT cheap. Please do not think that Malay weddings usually held at void decks are cheap. They cost almost as expensive as Chinese weddings as the set up costs is a lot. Furthermore, the sad thing is that most people THINK it is cheap and do not give a good "ang pow" to help defray the cost of the Malay wedding. Now you know.
How about your wedding? Did you overspend? Or do you feel it is a worthy event? Most of my friends did not enjoy the process of the wedding as there was too much stress and unnecessary expense, but they had to go through with it as it was "expected" of them. Did you enjoy your wedding as much as I did mine? I can truthfully say that I enjoyed the evening eating good food with close family and friends without thinking about the financial part of it as I felt that the whole event was of a good value considering the cost of the whole event.