You see... Recently, my wife got called to Paris again on short notice and she once again dragged me along. Since it was a last minute biz trip, it was really expensive to buy my ticket and I highlighted this to her... But to her, it wasn't important. She just wanted me to go along. It was important to her. She knew how much I hate to fly long trips and she even offered to buy me a biz class ticket so that I could get better sleep. And of course I declined the offer.
This was when I started wondering. What is the value of this almost $2k ticket to her...
From any logical perspective, this $2k ticket to fly me over for a couple of days just to accompany her is pretty much a waste of money. I think many of you would think so... I think so too...
But when I look from her perspective, my understanding changes.
She earns quite an ok amount at her work. We hardly spend on anything else. She's planning to work for many more years. She happy at her job...
Ok based on the above. I get a better understanding of why she's ok to spend $2k to fly me over just for a couple of days...
Working without enjoying the fruit of her labour is basically pointless. She works for her money so that it can buy her options. If she doesn't spend on things that she values... Then working hard is pretty much for nothing. Her priority is not to retire young. She enjoys her work and wants to work for many more years. Due to this, I cannot look at the value of money the same way as how I look at money.
For me, money or saved money buys me the freedom not to work. So I always feel that I should only spend on necessities. Else if I ever run out of money, I will need to return to work.
But for her, money buys her the option of flying me over on her biz trips cos by flying me over, she feels happier and this makes her happier to continue working. She also loves her high tea buffets. And for her, work buys her these enjoyments.
Now, we aren't talking about folks who max out credit cards or are deep in debt. We still have a healthy savings rate and growing AUM. For her, to spend some money on things that she feels is worthy should be accepted.
Can she afford it? Yes.
Is it an expensive luxury? Yes.
The thing is, I've met people like her before. People who spend money buying stuff they like. Who love their jobs, and they plan to work til they're old... And the thing is... It's absolutely fine to buy things that will make them happy. Else why work?
I used to work to buy my freedom.
But she doesn't want that. She's happy working. She wants to buy other things. And so she shouldn't be judged for buying other things. She doesn't judge me for buying my freedom. And I shouldn't say much when she wants to buy things that make her happy. As long as the spending is within reasonable limits.
And I think this perspective might be ignored in the early retirement or financial Independence community. We always think that frivolous spending is bad... But maybe it's not what we think it is...
Now of course, if she's not happy with work. Or always complaining about how miserable she is. Or how little money she has, then that's a different matter. If that's the case, then I think she shouldn't be spending money on stuff and should be hoarding money so that it can buy her other options.
So... Maybe it really is ok to spend a bit more. Who's to say how much happiness is worth spending on or not spending on. Each of us values money in our own way. Money buys us options. It could be freedom, it could be stuff, it could be things we enjoy, etc. How much we value each item, only we ourselves know and determine whether it is worth it. As long as you're saving fairly well for retirement, not over spending and getting into debt, enjoying work and planning to work til old, what's a little more spending every now and then?
So what is the value of money?
I think it really depends on what you want to buy...
For me $2k is maybe 2 months of freedom. Whereas to her it's a ticket for me to follow her on a biz trip. And the thing is... Both of these are reasonable purchases. Cos it's up to the buyer to determine what's worth it or not.
Just don't complain after spending it.
So for me, I shouldn't complain that I don't have expensive watches, cos I know that to me I value freedom more.
Or for her, she shouldn't complain that she doesn't have money for an expensive bag, cos... Well she chose to spend it on a ticket for me to follow her...
Well... Not like either of us are really going to complain about not getting luxury product anyway...
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