Cos everyone has their own desires and needs, everyone wants something differently.
So unless the what I'm suggesting is really good with a low "cost" (tangible or intangible cost), I usually don't take a side. I'll just highlight it, point out some pros and cons, and if someone wants to take the suggestion then I just leave it to them.
I'll give some examples on instances when I think something is good, better than what I think they would decide on, but I have kept quiet on my position and just let others decide for themselves.
A very simple example is insurance.
Probably one of the most easy things around, and yet so many people don't do it.
Buy term insurance and invest the rest, people could simply just buy an ETF and this would be great for them. Alternatively, a whole life policy or long term endowment plan is also good for people who do not like investment risk.
And yet many people either are not insured, or they buy short term endowment plans or buy some investment linked products which typically don't give a very good risk adjusted return.
But hey, to each their own. I don't think it's my position to beg them to do something good for themselves. If something is good for you, it's for you to consume it, don't expect me to beg you to eat it. In the end they may avoid me for nagging at them too much. Furthermore, I don't even get any benefit out of it. So in such cases, I rather just lay out the data and let them decide for themselves.
(Unless it's regarding my family, then it's a different matter, cos it MAY impact me if they aren't insured properly.)
Recently, my wife wanted to help her side of the family to do some hotel and flight bookings cos she knew that she could get a good deal for them for the hotel and flight. She was attempting to get them to stay at a fair enough hotel and fly budget airlines. It's a really short flight, less than an hour so it's really not worth flying a full board flight.
I told her not to get involved, we don't get much benefit out of it, but she didn't listen to me. So she ended up having to field questions about the flight, the services available on the flight, whether there was an air bridge at the airport, cos there are older folks who are going on the trip and they can't walk down stairs, etc. Then they started questioning her about the hotel.
They even asked me which hotel I would recommend. I said ABC hotel is good cos it's cheap, it's fairly close to places to walk around, the shopping areas are a bit shady around that region, and it might not be convenient for older folks. XYZ hotel is more expensive, it's linked to a few higher class shopping centers but may not be so exciting cos it's in a upper class region of the country. I tried to keep it very neutral.
I would have thought that XYZ hotel would be better cos they have a couple of older folks going and walking around would be inconvenient, if they were interested in shopping and all that they could decide when they got there and move around if they felt like it, but at least staying in a more convenient hotel, they could always be assured of the convenience first, before deciding on where else to go if they had the mood.
Somehow they decided on the other hotel... oh well, to each their own...
Over the weekend, after having to entertain many questions and doubts, she gave up trying to help them and just told them to book it themselves.
So I told her, there's very little benefit to us, we shouldn't have tried helping them. Sure, we can suggest some stuff, but in the end, let them handle it themselves, if she helps them book, if there's any screw up, they would definitely blame her. Like if the hotel has some booking issue and has no room or the staff messed up the booking, they would say she messed up the reservation. Or since she suggested flying on budget, we won't know if the flight would be delayed or if for some strange reason for THAT particular date, there is no sky bridge. They would blame her. And all that trouble and no return for us except for a "Thanks".
So really, I think for many instances, people's concerns vs our concerns are different. We are ok to pay 50%-70% less for a flight and we are fully aware that there might be delays and we are prepared for some form of inconvenience. But maybe others aren't prepared or willing to be inconvenienced the least bit.
Or even for my own experience, I always think that my mother would save more if she cancelled her cable TV and switch to a smart box, with that she could watch so many of her dramas at a relatively fixed cost and not have to pay for subscription and all that. But yet, I know that I shouldn't get involved. I don't get any return from this. It may upset my mum if I push her too much. She's happy with her cable TV, she's reluctant to change and learn to use the smart box, I'll just leave it as that.
I've also tried to get my dad to switch to use one of the more efficient credit cards, but he's reluctant to move from his super inefficient Amex card. I don't even know what card it is, it's one of the older ones I think. I have a feeling he still thinks Amex is a premium card, cos in the older days, Amex used to be one of the more "branded" cards to be seen using. So I think it may give him a sense of pride to be still using that card... But oh well, I let him be as well, cos no point fussing over something which gives me minimal benefits.
There's probably a lot of other stuff which I think many others try to help each other with. I'm sure many of us have friends and family and we try our best to help them cos they are dear to us. So we try to be helpful in our own way by suggesting things which we think are good for them too, cos these decisions were good for us. But as I've grown to learn, not many people appreciate good advice. Most folks would just like to do what they have been doing and not get disturbed. Maybe they have a lot of inertia, or maybe they just have different needs, different wants and different out look of life.
Even inertia is considered a different want, cos they want to continue doing what they are doing and may be lazy to make the change, even though they know the change is good for them.
And sometimes, we/I, get frustrated when we see our dear friends and family do stupid things which is not optimal for them or when they waste money unnecessarily. But I've learnt to keep quiet about these and forget about it. It's their life, let them live it in the way they are most comfortable with, it's also their own mistakes or inefficiencies and they probably will just have to live with the additional cost or inconvenience of their own decisions.
So the one thing I'd recommend... (although this post is about NOT recommending things)...
Is to just not get too involved.
We can be helpful and give them the info they need, if it is convenient to tell them or if they ask, but the decision, just let them do it themselves.
No point being nice and get negative response from your friend and family.
This is not to say don't help people. Rather, help when it's needed, let it go when it's not.
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