Who wanna stand up or raise their hands and own up? I'm lazy.
Or who wanna tell people that they don't like adventure? That they like staying at home in comfort?
Or who ever says, I like weak watered down coffee? Sounds super no standard. Everyone likes a strong robust cup of coffee.
Some guys like bigger girls, some guys like older girls, some girls like bigger guys, some girls like younger guys, etc...
Can't say things that sound weak.
Can't say things that sound abnormal.
Can't say things that make people think we no class, no standard.
We lie to the world. That's normal.
We lie to ourselves. That's also normal.
Not optimal, but normal.
For me, I try to learn more about myself.
Analyze, think, ponder.
And I try to admit these observations to myself.
If it's not me, then it's not me. No point lying to myself.
Then I can work on things that I like, or things that I'm able to do, etc.
A lot of times we are pressured to like or answer things that aren't really us. But cos it's the socially accepted response, so we just respond like everyone else.
We say it so much until we believe it to be true. When maybe, maybe it isn't.
But... really... no point trying to be the fish trying to climb a tree.
For example...
I've learnt that I'm not suitable to be a business owner.
I'm lazy. I don't have the go getter kind of mentality. I've had it easy when I was younger.
Studied well enough, got into good school, good job, made my money easily. Didn't really need to fight hard for it.
I'm not good at selling stuff, or selling myself. It's a different life from some other people.
And yes, potentially, it's a weakness.
So I work around it.
But when I see many others, maybe they haven't had enough experience trying to start a biz. Maybe they are talking just for entertainment. But generally, it's seen that being a biz owner is like the epitome of success and it's highly unacceptable for someone to say, "No, I don't want to start a biz, I don't mind being a worker all my life."
Who's going to admit they wanna be a worker all their lives?
I've learnt that I'm not good at trading short term.
Lost money, gave up.
That's ok. Find another specialization. Not good then not good la. Don't need to try to spot patterns when I can't see it. Other people can see, I cannot see, nevermind. They do lor.
But, hey, everyone wants to be a trader. How hard can it be?! No secret to it. Buy low sell high.
Any fool can do it.
I don't like to travel to weird places, where I don't feel safe. And there's a lot of places where I don't feel safe. Cos I define safety in my own terms, and my definition is very narrow.
I know many places are safe. Unfortunately not safe enough for me. I'm not out to look for adventure. Different people different desires. So, no, I won't be going India unnecessarily, South Africa, South America, etc... Just not my style. It's probably safe enough for many people. Just not safe enough for me.
And yet, it is admirable for someone to go backpacking to the unknown places of the world. It's a challenge, one is deemed to be exciting and adventurous to have gone to the less developed parts of the world.
But yet, for me, no thanks. I like to stay in my comfort zone. I'm ok with that.
I don't like to chiong to see many places when I travel. I like to move around slowly, see the people, see the normal lives of people, notice the similarities of their lives vs our lives.
I used to go many places when I travel. As in many places of attraction. Maybe I hit 7 places in one day when I used to travel when I was younger. Then I realized, I didn't enjoy it. It's nice to say I've visited all these places. But it's no fun rushing around. I'm tired, I'm not rested, it's not the kinda trip I enjoy.
I enjoy hanging around, seeing their lives, maybe in a city, maybe smaller city, etc. I don't particularly enjoy the countryside.
Hahah... when I went to Paris and told people I haven't been to the outlet malls, they look at me incredulously.
AFTER I went to Paris 5 times and 5 months into my stay there, eventually, I went to the outlet malls when I was about to leave Paris, to meet another Singaporean friend for a meal. He was transiting in Paris during a biz trip.
I used to go to Taiwan annually. Taipei or KaoHsiung, and I do the same thing. Go the same places. I enjoy it. I feel rested and it's fun and stress free. I just do the things I enjoy.
I learnt that dreams are not reality. I can talk about going to a quiet corner of the world where no one disturbs me, and I can live quietly and with nature with a big plot of land. It's a nice story, and that's just what it is. A story.
After COVID and having to stay at home with my wife 99% of the time, I realized, I can't just live with her in the same place 24/7. We need to go out, hang outside, go out and eat sometimes, walk around sometimes, interact with people, things, etc.
I'm more social than I thought I was. I just need the right balance.
The environment gets boring real quick when it's just 2 people without any other external interaction.
The thing is... we gotta know what we like.
Experiment a bit, then decide and focus. Don't need to tell anyone, but at least don't lie to yourself.
We see it often, people don't learn from their past, don't know themselves.
We can see it in sales tactics often. Selling ideas, and dreams. They paint a story and sell things to you. It's compelling to buy, cos the dream sound nice.
But more often than not, the item won't be used often. Cos it's not something you enjoy enough to do it regularly enough to use all the time.
How often have people fallen for the same sales tactics? Inducing you to buy something, and eventually that item sits in the storeroom unused?
My wife got a $100 voucher to buy wine. Minimum purchase $160.
So potentially we can get 12 bottles of wine for $60. Woah cheap right?
Then I told her, free is cheaper.
We don't usually buy wine, we don't drink wine much.
We do drink. Just not regularly enough to justify buying in bulk.
No point changing our habits just to consume the wine that we induced ourselves to buy just cos it's "cheaper".
My friend wanted to buy me an expensive meal last time. I think $40+ per pax. I told him. Nevermind, we go eat Korean BBQ buffet at $20 per pax. I know I'll enjoy it more.
It's that kinda thing.
For me, I believe I need to know what I want, and do what I want, and not lie to myself.
I'm probably never going to go for a holiday in Europe or US ever again after I return to SG.
I just don't enjoy it enough. The length of the flight, the things to do there. It's not what I enjoy.
Compared to going to Thailand or Taiwan or Penang. I enjoy travelling to those places.
Maybe I'll go Korea again, cos I've a bit of a phobia going to Korea cos I ended up in hospital when I last went there.
Somedays I feel like having a strong coffee, somedays I like a weak and watery coffee.
We all like different things.
And we should learn to accept that of ourselves and for others.
I tend to find that people like to try to fit in too much and try to "be like the cool kids", and they MUST like what the general population is PERCEIVED to like. Else... no class you know.
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