Ok, so I was watching this Youtube clip... It really resonated with me til around 7:15, after that it's a bit dumb. But from the start til 7:15... I felt this really reflected a lot about how a lot of people live their lives. 

So personally, I really think it's worth watching. 

I'm sure you all can see, I'm spending a lot of time on Youtube. 
It gives me inspiration and new ideas, I learn more about things, or get a better understanding of things. 
Youtube, if used for educational purposes, is a wealth of knowledge. 
If just purely for entertainment and just about online influencers and watching other peoples' lives, then it just increases entertainment and consumption.

Anyway, here's a 30 minute clip on how the economics machine works, debt, money, lending and cycles. It's pretty good. I usually don't like long clips but, well... this guy is Ray Dalio, so I decided to watch it. 
Cos... If you didn't know... Ray Dalio...
"Dalio is the founder of investment firm Bridgewater Associates, one of the world's largest hedge funds. Bloomberg ranked him as the world's 58th wealthiest person in June 2019."

Anyway, have a watch when you have time, I think it's good knowledge of how credit, money and cycles influence our economy as a whole. Cos simply put, most people just don't understand how money works. 

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Watch this... Really please do. 
I think there's a whole load of truth in what he's talking about.

​And I think it's important for folks to really reflect upon it, as what I mentioned about in my previous post. 
​

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You see, I tend to do ... Nothing, but it's really not doing nothing...
Cos when I do nothing, it pretty much answers to what society means when they deem me to be doing nothing. Yes I pretty much don't do real "productive" things that society feels everyone should be doing. 

But I tend to reflect a lot on my life, and I think, what I would say is... I've probably streamlined my life to take out a lot of clutter and white noise. 
I tend to like to do simple things that make me happy, avoid people who annoy me, and pretty much, I'm ok to just hang around in my own thoughts. And I think, that's somewhat lacking in our current society. 

Everyone seems to be "struggling"... Bills to pay, stuff to buy... But... really? Are we really too busy? Are we really struggling? Are we really struggling such that we don't have ANY time to help others? To spend time with our kids? To put a bit of effort to be more environmentally conscious? 

No... in fact, many of us are hardly struggling, we're doing great, we have money, food to eat, a shelter, clothes, etc... but yet... many people feel that they don't have enough, "I can't even take care of myself, how can I afford to help others or be bothered about climate change?" 

Really? 

So let's not fool ourselves. Most of us are NOT struggling. 
Most of us are greedy. Most of us want to hide in our own comfort. Most of us want to be lazy and not think about bigger issues. Many just want to live our lives in ignorance and just everyday "one day pass one day". 
It's a lot easier to tell yourself that you are struggling and need to work harder, work more, earn more money, than to stop and think about what you want to do with your life. To explore what you want to do, what makes you happy, etc. 

So... really, I highly encourage folks to sit around and just reflect upon life and how things are you for and your family, what do you want to do with your short time on this Earth, spend more time with your kids, spend more time with yourself, etc...

Most of us are poor, we're just somehow programmed to feel like we're always poor, like we don't have enough, but actually, we already have a lot, we just need to really stop and think about it. 
​

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​

Ok I'm not going to run thru all the expenses line by line. Cos it's more or less the same thing. 
I'll just talk a bit about what's happening.

Expense increased around €800.
We booked a 1 week tour to Switzerland, Italy, and some rural parts of Paris. It's a guided tour, mostly inside a bus and we will be travelling many hours in a bus, we thought it would be an easy way to go get a flavour of the area around us, and if we like it, we can do a dedicated trip there on our own another time.
So mainly the increase between last month and this month is this trip. 

My wife was out of town for a week, she went to US, I didn't follow her. So during that week, I spend zero. Cos I mainly stayed at home and ate for free. Whereas she went on biz trip so the food is claimable. 

I kinda get the feeling that my expense will range around this level. And the difference will be due to any entertainment which I indulge in. 

Which is similar to everyone else actually. 
Everyone spends on necessities then move on to luxuries and entertainment when they have excess money. I suppose the only difference is maybe I spend less on luxuries and entertainment? 
Although my wife is quite interested to travel more around the region, it's pretty lucky that she's busy most of the time so we aren't able to really travel to far places every month.


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I'll admit. For the past 2 months, I've been a bit confused in Paris...
Why?
Well, you see, when I moved here, I thought that there would be some great change in my life. I mean, come on right? It's Paris, I've heard so much about it, people talk about it, it's a different lifestyle, it's blah blah blah... 
You'll get more independent, it will be more exciting, etc... I've heard and even felt/expected so many things. 
Like I was expecting it to be really life changing and WOW and that things would be different. 

Well... After my first 2 weeks and when things pretty much settled down, there wasn't any difference.
So I felt a bit... confused... 

How can my life in Paris be so similar to my life in SG?
And this befuddled me until a few days ago. It took me a lot of thinking and reflection. 

I came to a conclusion that... well... ERSG from SG is the same person as ERSG in Paris. 
Sounds pretty stupid right?
You see, when I came here, I thought things would suddenly change. 
That things would be exciting. Things would be different. 
BUT... I'm the same person! How can things be more exciting?
I like my stable life!
I like collecting free food. I don't like spending money. I don't really like going out cos it's really expensive here. I like staying in my apartment and watching shows and learning new recipes, etc...
Yes, we do go out sometimes on weekends, have a meal out for a change, but mostly, we enjoy a more peaceful lifestyle. 
We will be traveling a bit around Europe region but not too much and on budget.
Generally, we don't keep going out looking for the next thrill, next purchase, next... whatever!

Now, imagine if I had a lifestyle of ... many Singaporeans. Like my friends on FB. 
I see them post pictures of dinners, lunch, going out to many exotic locations in SG, the new playground, their evening drinks, new food locations, etc... 
So IF I had that kind of lifestyle in SG, then... I'm sure my experience in Paris would be significantly different. Cos... There would be so much more to explore, so much to do, so many new experiences. So many new things to buy and spend on. Then confirm they will tell you that there's so much to do, so much to see, so much to spend on and experience. 

So you see... you are who you are. It doesn't change overnight regardless of where you are. 
I'm comfortable with my lifestyle in SG, and of course I will want to try to replicate it in Paris. 
If I enjoy going out and playing and spending and new experiences in SG, then I will want to do the same in Paris. But, I'm not like that. 

Now, how does this relate to everyone else? 
Well... you know... every year, people HOPE that the next year will be a good year? People try to keep new year resolutions, etc etc... 
Same same... it's still the same person. 
We are all programmed in a certain way and we do things for ourselves to be "comfortable".
If we want to change, it takes effort, dedication, discipline, or a life changing event. Else there's little chance of change. 

For me, I'm happy with my lifestyle in SG and in Paris. I was just kinda confused cos I expected some mind-blowing new experience. 
But, for folks who aren't happy with life, aren't happy with certain things in life, then... there needs to be some active steps to improve their lives. Sitting around and hoping won't change anything. You're still the same person. Today, tomorrow, this year, next year... That 1 second between 31 Dec 2019 23:59:59 to 1 Jan 2020 00:00:00 isn't going to change much...

Hmmm... I'd liken this to how I removed sugar from my coffee. 
Long time ago, I drank sugared coffee. One day, I decided that I wanted to cut down sugars in my life, so I reduced my sugar intake for my coffee. So from one teaspoon sugar, I cut to half teaspoon. After a few weeks, 1/4 teaspoon, after a few weeks 1/8, then no sugar... Woah the difference between 1/8 teaspoon to 0 sugar is super hard. So during that time I did some days with 1/8 sugar, some days no sugar at all. And eventually, after a few months, I was able to drink coffee without sugar. 

Change is a step by step thing. 
Weight loss, financial wealth building, training for a marathon, etc... 
If you want to save more money, you'll need to proactively find ways to do it. Else it will be very natural for anyone to just slip back into their usual way of doing things and spending again. 

Ok I've dragged on long enough. 
Simply put, I expected a more exciting lifestyle in Paris but because I'm me, I built the same lifestyle in Paris exactly the same as the one in SG. 
I'm happy about that. 
Except for some strange reason, somehow, I expected things to be different. Although, I did things the same way. So there's almost no chance for things to turn out differently. 

Remember this, the next time you hope that something changes. Cos the most important change is in yourself. 


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Here is part 1

So I wrote previously about how my "work" is similar to normal work. 
And even though I have enough, I keep trying to get more so that I have excess and have more "security".

And so, I'd like to build upon what happened to me recently. 
So I managed to find a place where I can get quite good stuff... meat, prepacked food, cheeses, yogurts, etc.
WOW... so much better than the fresh fruits and vegetables that I've been eating. 
For almost 2 months, I have been eating 90% fruits and vegetables. Which is really good for health.

Suddenly, I now have stocks of a whole range of other produce. 
And of course meat and cheese has higher "value" right? I mean... if I have meat which is "worth more" why would I eat 90% vegetables? 
So recently my diet has changed to around... 50% meat, and I'm starting to feel unhealthier.
Furthermore, since I'm now getting meat... ON TOP of the fruits and vegetables, I also eat more cos I don't have much more space in the fridge, so I just consume more and then take more tomorrow.

Which is pretty strange right? Cos by right, my life and health and everything SHOULD be getting better, now that I have more resources. 

Think about this scenario in life... Normal life. 

We earn money, we live a normal life.
We save our first $10k... not too bad, do some simple investments. 
We save our first $100k... also not too bad, we can do some simple investments. Buy more shares, etc...
When we reach our first $1million... ok how are you going to manage that amount of money? 
When you reach $5million... how are you going to manage THAT amount of money? 
Will you feel more stressed? What if you invest wrongly and lose $1m? 

At a certain point of wealth, you'll need a system. You can't be picking individual stocks to invest $1m... well technically you can, but it's going to be tedious. So maybe you want to put a certain percentage into passive stocks and just leave it there, and maybe $100k-$300k you can do active investing, etc...

BUT WAIT! You still have your day job. So there is stress in your day job AND the stress of managing more money. 
Hey, richer people have richer people problems. That's not untrue. 
Of course it's better than having no money. 
But just saying that having more will have it's own issues. 
Which is why people have systems, and bankers to help manage larger sums of money. Cos... it's not efficient to handle large sums of money by micromanaging it, and the added stress will affect the day job AND make life more unpleasant. 

So currently, I have a similar issue. I keep getting more food. But I don't have a system to manage it. 
For example. In SG, I have a community to give the food to, so I can easily pass on my excess. However, over in Paris, I don't have that system in place... (yet).
Or maybe I could find a homeless shelter nearby and pass them the food... similarly, I don't have that in place... (yet)...

Anyway... the idea is the same. Having more has issues tied with it. And potentially, there is added stress and may disrupt the overall balance of things.
Cos these days, I also think... maybe if I didn't find the new place, I could just be eating a healthier diet and having less food to manage...

Some of you might say... "Oh then why don't you just take less food".
Then my response will be "You wouldn't tell a rich man who's stressed about how to manage his money to earn less money right?"
Rather, it should be HOW, should this issue be managed. Instead of just avoiding the issue altogether. 


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I got a comment by "temperament" on my last post. 

I think it's a worthy question which deserves a post on it's own.
Cos I have a number of friends who are struggling with mental issues, or have overcome it. 

I've never really had much mental issues. I think also due to my attitude in life. 
For me, I feel the problem and answer is very simple. 

Many people have desires, wants, aspirations, feelings, loneliness, security, recognition, etc etc.
It's part of life. 
People strive hard to attain these, but when they go unfulfilled, people get stressed and it builds up into mental issues. 

A lot of times, people look outward to settle these issues. But many times, the answer is inward. 
It's easy for me to say, cos... mentally I'm programmed in a certain way. 
But I really feel that the answer to these issues lie within ourselves. The problem is understanding it and recognizing it and managing it. 

Let's take financial security for example. 
The easy way to look for an answer is outward. Money. I must earn more money to be financially secure. 
But I also know that people who have $1 million might not feel financially secure. 
A sense of security is found on the inside. Not in a bank account. Sure, there is some need of money, but it's not as much as what people believe it to be. 

So let's deconstruct the problem... This is one way to look at things, maybe there are others...
When people talk about financial security, they usually mean lifestyle security. They want to maintain some form of lifestyle. So... typically, it's not really ALL about the money. IF you can maintain the same lifestyle WITHOUT money, that's also ok right? 
BUT we lived in a world where the Government says, "Ok, we'll take care of your food, lodging, medical expenses, if you earn more that's your bonus."
There will still be people who feel insecure, although, by right, that shouldn't make sense. 

And the thing is... financial security, is pretty much a state of mind. 
A point where you go... OK I have enough.

It's the same idea as children will always be children in their parent's eyes. 
Even at 40 years old, some adults are still being treated like kids by their parents. 
Simply put, the parents haven't "let go yet".
And financial security is similar.
It doesn't matter how much you have. If you don't let go, you will still feel financially insecure. 

That's why I say the answer lies inside. 
This mentality issue manifests in many places. 

Some people NEED a sense of recognition from others. So they strive to study hard, work hard, keep getting better, show off, buy stuff, etc... To show to others that they have succeeded. 
And whenever they hit one benchmark, they will look at the next benchmark, cos there's always someone else who needs to be impressed. There's always someone else to show off to. 

And once again, I know people like this. 
They strive to be the perfect son/daughter to their parents, the perfect father/mother to their children, the perfect staff to their bosses, the perfect friend to their friend, etc...
And by doing that, they lose themselves. Cos they are always trying to do things which pleases others. And they may beat themselves up for not fulfilling other people's expectations. 
And it's sad when I see them like that. And I just want to tell them "Let it go..."
Cos... it's not possible to be the perfect whatever in other people's eyes. 

You can only be the perfect you. And they need to accept that. It's not the other way around. 
So it's important to set the expectation right. I love my parents, I give them enough respect, I help them when they need help, etc... But I will not live the life they want me to live. Cos I want to live the life I want to live. 
Same for how parents and kids. Parent's lives don't revolve around the kids. I don't know how it became that way, but that's not right. Cos it teaches the kids the wrong thing. That they are the center of everything. Which also isn't right. 

Anyway, the idea here is also... the answer lies inside. 
I believe we are bombarded by society and the need to fulfill expectations. But the answer is found inside. We have to live our lives, with due respect to the people around us, but I'm not here to make my parents happy/proud by working in a job that they expect me to work in. I'll make them happy/proud by being a good son, living a good life, so that they don't need to worry about me. Parents bring up children so that the children can do well and survive and flourish in life so that they can in-turn teach their own children and so on so forth. The actual job/career that the child does... isn't really part of the package, and kids shouldn't be trying to live out parents expectations or fulfill their parents' unfulfilled dreams. 

This is similar with friends. If you don't feel like going out at night to bars, but your friends ONLY hang out in bars and they don't want to hang out with you anywhere else, then most likely... they aren't your friends. 

Of course I wasn't always like this... I used to be pretty normal... thinking about stuff, stressing about stuff, etc... then as life went on, I watched and I learnt. 
Instead of changing myself to different people and trying to make people happy, but I myself wasn't really happy, I decided to walk my own road, do things my way, accept myself for who I am... 
At first, it's a lonely road, cos people weren't happy with my changes, the not so close people left, the close people stayed behind, and new people came along and I got new friends. And I fill my life with the people who are willing to accept me the way I am. 
That doesn't mean to be an ass to people. It means, find people who are in-tune with your own values, interests and path in life instead of hanging out with all kinds of people and trying to be part of the crowd.

And I think... all these also stems from fear. Fear of being broke, fear of being ostracized, fear of being lonely, etc... 

And to overcome all these, takes disciple, confidence, mental resilience, and planning and probably a whole load of other personalities and habits. 
Even I struggled when I first left my job. Read about The Fear... 
And slowly I overcame it... the thing is... stress, pressure, expectations, need to be managed. 
It's like losing weight, you can't sit on your couch and think... "Oh I'm fat, I need to lose weight" and hope to lose weight. You need to do something to get results!

If you have fear of financial insecurity. Then, it needs to be addressed, the question isn't... "There isn't enough money." That's a statement. That doesn't help anything. 
The question should be "How much is enough for me to be financially secure?" and do mathematical calculations to derive it. BUT what if after you reached this amount, you still don't feel secure? 
Then... THE ANSWER LIES WITHIN
It's no longer a number problem. It's a mentality issue, it's probably fear of something.

How do you get over a fear of cockroaches? 
Some people never get over it. Some people start by having slow exposure to them. Other people have to overcome their fear due to need, like me, my family needed me to kill cockroaches in the house. So bobian, I have to step up and just do it. 

So... the point of this whole post is... well... how to take care of your mental health? 
You gotta do something about it. If you're afraid, insecure, stressed, depressed, etc? 
You can't just sit on the couch and remain stressed. 
You gotta recognize and admit the fear and insecurity. Then plan and take active steps to break away from it, same as social expectations and financial planning...

It's the same as many other problems. I gotta admit first, that I'm fat, then I need to research what I need to do to get thin, then I need to execute that plan, good eating and regular exercise. 
But even after I am 65kg, which is super thin for my height... IF I STILL FEEL FAT!
Then... the answer lies... WITHIN.

Then the problem isn't about me being fat, the REAL problem is actually, my mentality and self esteem, and then, it's the same process again. Admit it, research on it, plan and execute on how to be confident and be comfortable with my size, regardless of what my size is. 
(This is an example, I'm not 65kg, and I don't have weight issues.)

I'll leave something I copied from the internet... it's the idea of, the more you want, the more unhappy you will be. The  more you strive, the less satisfied you will feel. 
And when you're comfortable with your own skin, and contented with life...
​That's when life is really good.

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I think a lot of people are familiar with this...
Pretty everyone want's to upgrade... or at least remain the same. 
That's pretty much what life is about right?
If you have a 4 room HDB, you probably want to move to a condo, or at least remain the same in the 4 room HDB. Most people won't want to move to a 3 room HDB.
If you eat rice and some meat and vegetables today, you would probably want something similar tomorrow or better. You probably won't want to just eat plain rice. 

And ever since young... we learn... we need more money to do more things. 
Even the Government believes this... more money, they get better quality people... *ahem*.
More money, they get better services. 
The thing is... this has been ingrained in our minds so much that... we don't think much about this idea.

But is this true? 
Or is it just taken for granted? Cos it's an idea so ingrained in us, that we don't think to question it anymore.
So when people talk about lifestyle inflation, it typically means that they have upgraded their lifestyle using money. 

So  these 2 statement are pretty much true, or assumed to be true.
1) People want to upgrade their lifestyles IF they can afford it or at least remain the same. 
2) To do (1), you need more money.

So... it's such an easy equation that no one thinks about it. We just need to earn more money so that we can live a better life.
SO EASY! What a simple equation. Cause and effect.

Now... what if this isn't true? 
I'm sure we all know that more expensive people doesn't mean they do a better job. The right person does a better job. There's a good chance that an expensive person would be the right person but... that's not always the case... I'm sure we all know that.

Same as for quality products. Not all expensive products are good quality, but if something is good quality, it's likely to be expensive cos it requires more resources to produce. 

And for me, I have managed to upgrade my life by using LESS money. 
This actually means that my lifestyle in INDEPENDENT from how much money I have. Think about it. 
When you talk about financial independence, what are you looking for? 
Usually, it's to maintain a certain lifestyle and not be worried about money. But what if they aren't related much? How does that change things? 
Now, I recognize that there's somethings that require money, like insurance and mobile data and such. But after all this is settled... What if AFTER financial independence... Your lifestyle keeps INCREASING?
By right. This shouldn't make sense right? But yet, it's happening for me. 

It's so easy for us to keep looking at one direction, when everyone is looking at the same direction thinking that's the right way. Everyone is walking in this same direction... how bad can it be right? 
Then there are some strange folks who tell you... "oh you don't need much money to be happy, there are many free things to do, there is a lot of free stuff around."
And more often than not, no one will believe them, cos, it's easier to follow the crowd. Keep using money, keep working hard, keep working cos that's the way to a better life. 

I've found that lifestyle inflation is actually good. It's fun. It's challenging. AND IT'S FREE. For me at least.
Cos... like everyone else, I also want to upgrade. 
When I get free stuff, I also ask myself. HOW do I get even BETTER stuff? HOW do I  UPGRADE for FREE?
Now, I'm not here to teach you how to get free stuff. The idea is the same. If you keep doing a certain subject for a period of time, you start getting good at it. And it's the same for any skill set. And getting free stuff is also a skill set in itself. 

So today, my main point is... 
We don't really think much about other roads. Well, many people don't. Many people just follow whatever path everyone else walks. And I think that in itself is flawed. 
Money is NOT the answer. 
The relationship between money and lifestyle, money and happiness, or money and quality is flawed and the earlier people realize it, the less tied down by money they will be.


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