What's there to be happy about? I understand. I used to hate Mondays and start feeling happier on Thursdays and Fridays. It's back to work and it probably sucks, or maybe it's just tolerable.
These days my life is much better. Mondays I'm a bit sad cos my wife goes to work and leaves me all alone. Then I have to do most of my chores on Mondays, buying food and all that. It's fine. I'm not complaining. But there's nothing much to be happy about right? It's just another day.
As I thought about this last night, I came to a realization that happiness is very much like every other thing. You can get used to it. Like you can get used to spending, and thus, need to buy more stuff to make yourself feel happier. After the first purchase, another $1000 bag doesn't make you as happy anymore. Probably you'll want to get something more expensive for the thrill. Read about dopamine here. Same as when I used to go for hotel buffets, we used to go for $70/pax buffets, then upgraded to $100 buffets, then we ended up with a $200/pax Sunday brunch, and when I signed the $400 bill, I realized that the buffets had gotten out of hand and needed to be controlled better.
So I think, we, as humans, can also get used to happiness.
I think most of us, take happiness to be something which we need to do something to obtain. Like, we bought ourselves a nice meal, or we went on holiday, or we went to Sentosa, whatever, essentially, I think many of us would think that happiness is a proactive thing, that we need to do something to achieve happiness.
Then I thought, what about stuff we don't do or didn't happen? Would stuff that we don't do make us happy? Or rather, did we get so used to it that we take it for granted? Cos it needed no special action from our own part, we think that it's a God given right. But yet, if we lose it, we would feel significantly unhappy. Not neutral (not happy or not unhappy), but significantly unhappy.
So I thought I'd list down some stuff which I think many of us take for granted.
1) Our health and the health of the people we care about
This is quite often over looked, we more often than not, just think we'd be young and healthy forever, then as time passes, things deteriorate and we don't pay too much attention, then by the time things gets really bad, it becomes hard to fix.
Or suddenly someone gets diagnosed with some strange illness which just came out of nowhere.
I know of someone who disappeared in less than a year. From no problem to "have a good rest" within 12 months.
2) We stay in Singapore (location & Government)
Ok it's not the best place. Expensive, blah blah blah.
And yet, it's one of the only countries which is extremely safe, other countries are safe, US, Canada, Japan, Malaysia, Indonesia. Many countries are safe, provided you don't go out at night, don't hang around in dark corners, etc. These countries have crime rates that sound high, but in truth, they are normal. It is Singapore that is abnormal. Singapore is abnormally safe.
In Singapore, you also have minimal racism. We grow up with other races in our schools and in army and we learn to live along with them. We celebrate their festivals and eat most of the same food.
The government helps you to find a place to stay as long as you are fairly hardworking. CPF and HDB. Let's not talk about the outliers. Most Singaporeans are doing ok. Might not be great, but ok, and if they make changes to their lives and be more frugal, they would probably do better.
Many other things we take for granted are from the very fact that we stay in Singapore.
Like fast internet. It's easy to get cheap 300mbps - 1gbps for home and 3G/4G network for your phone. Many other countries do not have such speeds and fast network coverage. We're not the best as compared to Korea, but if we compare even against the USA... we're still ahead.
picture taken on 28/8/2017 from
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_in_the_United_States
Many other stuff just cos we stay in Singapore.
Another thing taken for granted is our Visa-less travel, Singaporean passport is one of the best in the world.
We have a large variety of food choices at convenient locations.
Good enough education for everyone.
Good enough medical quality and at ready access.
No natural disasters.
Ok, enough about staying in Singapore. I have my opinion about the Government and all that, and stuff I don't really agree with, but I'll take the good with the bad. And truthfully, we are fortunate enough to be living in Singapore.
3) The MRT did not breakdown today
Hey, it breaks down all the time these days. Be grateful it didn't breakdown today. We've taken it for granted that MRTs haven't broken down in the past 10 years when it started, and now when it starts breaking down, we are unhappy about it. So let's be happy it didn't breakdown again today, considering that I doubt they will EVER be able to fix it properly, Singaporeans should get used to it instead.
4) You didn't lose or break anything today
You probably didn't break your phone or lose your keys or anything for that matter.
I thought I lost my keys yesterday, luckily was able to find it.
So I think I should be grateful today that the lights are working at home, the appliances are working fine, my phone is fine, everything is all good.
5) Having my morning coffee
It just seems so normal that I have my morning coffee that I take it for granted. So when I'm having my coffee, I feel neutral, but I guess I'm just used to it, cos if I don't have it, I feel sad. But I shouldn't feel sad when I don't have my coffee, cos I didn't drink coffee when I was young. So actually, I should feel neutral when I don't have coffee, and happy when I have coffee. But since I've gotten used to it, I feel neutral when having coffee, and sad when I don't have coffee. So I think I should once again appreciate my coffee and be grateful for the drink.
(This point is with regards to whatever daily habit you may have.)
6) There's no war around where we are
We take this very much for granted.
I was reading a blog on how to make doenjang (this is something like Korean miso paste). So the blog posted on how to ferment the beans for 2 years.
There was a commenter who was a girl from Syria. Her post went something like this "Thanks for sharing how to make doenjang, I've set it aside to ferment for 2 years, but considering the condition of where I'm staying, I hope I'll still be alive when it's ready."
(Not the exact words, but something like this)
It was quite shocking when I read it, cos I never really thought about it. Cos in 2 years, I'd probably be alive. But when living in a warzone, a bomb shell might make her never be able to taste her own doenjang.
7) My neighbour
I'm grateful my neighbour is reasonable. They don't throw stuff all over, isn't a mess, isn't noisy, whatever. They live their own lives, we pass by, we say "hi", I'm grateful for that.
Cos it's a random chance, I get someone who leaves a lot of stuff outside the house, is noisy, dirty, throws cigarette butts all over, etc. So I think I should be happy that I have the neighbour that I have.
8) My wife
I have to remind myself, my wife allows me to be unemployed in peace. Yes, we've discussed and come to a common understanding, but there are folks, who are pestered by their spouse to continue working even though they have enough, or one party has enough but the other party does not allow the person to leave the job cos they just want to earn more. I am always happy that I have my wife who we can discuss everything and work together for our combined happiness.
I'm sure each of us take our partners for granted in our own ways. Like who takes care of the kids, or who does the laundry or cleans the toilet, etc. So even if your partner doesn't really support you in your early retirement, also be grateful, he/she is cleaning to toilet, cos if he/she isn't cleaning it, means you have to.
So there's quite a lot to be happy about today. Stuff that we always take for granted, but if we didn't have them, we'd be unhappy, so if we think like that, then, we should be happy that we have them.
So if you think your phone camera is too blur, then remember, we once were marveling at a 5 megapixel Nokia phone, or if your phone screen is slightly cracked, then remember we once lived without phones or Facebook. Or if you think your internet speed is slow... HELLO we used to connect with dial up. So relax and feel happy today, that things are better than yesterday or at least not worse off than yesterday.
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