I look around and realize... All of us are "probably"/HIGHLY Likely... people who live in our own little worlds that we have constructed for ourselves.
Let's look at myself.
Ever since I started Freegan stuff, I've been hanging around people who recycle, reuse, dumpster dive, etc... and that becomes the new "normal", it's like everyone around me is doing it.
I know there's a lot of people who DON'T do all these. But we tend to hang around 5-20 people around ourselves on a regular basis so when most of the immediate people around you do something, it seems like "everyone" is doing it.
Or when I was working in finance and I used to work 5 day work weeks.
But when I went to the supermarket and talked to staff, I get familiar with some staff or cleaners. And they ask me, "Oh you're on off today?", when I'm there on a Saturday/Sunday...
You see, to them, working on weekends is normal, cos everyone around them, their own social circle is full of people working these days and timings.
And it's not normal for them to think that people only work for 5 days a week.
That's not within their realm of "normal".
And some of these staff earn $900-$1200 per month, depending on working hours, overtime, etc...
And they could say something like... "Oh so and so's son is so lucky, he got a job at a bank doing admin and he's making $1500 per month 5.5 day work week"
And to them that's already a very good achievement cos the immediate "world" around themselves don't earn that kind of money.
Whereas when I was in the finance industry, a fresh grad would probably get $3000 doing operations work on a 5 day work week.
We also take for granted our knowledge of topics... Like for instance, I've a background in finance so my perception of the world might be skewed that financial knowledge is a given, that people have financial discipline and don't spend heavily on unnecessary items.
Or I may find it unbelievable that people don't understand the horrible compounding nature of credit card debt or even housing or car loans.
Hey think about it, many people don't invest. If they don't invest then the best thing they can do with excess money is to pay off their bank/HDB loan, cos they will be "making" the interest which they would have been charged.
Or doctors would hang around people who are medically trained and may take medical knowledge to be a given... (Although I think most doctors are more in-tuned to reality cos they face patients so often).
But I suspect medical professionals may think many people are ignorant about health and medical issues.
It could be like... "HUH... like that also dunno meh?!"
Or here we are talking about credit cards and rebates and discounts. Whereas I would suspect a lot of people may not bother about credit cards, or they might not even qualify for them.
Or they may think the rebates are small amounts not worthy to obtain, whereas to us an additional $50 is worth our efforts.
You see... usually, we all benchmark or make reference to ourselves when we look at others.
Cos we surround ourselves with people like us and we imagine that is pretty much what the world is...
Not exactly, but more or less, we might think the world is a certain social status, knowledge, financially, etc...
To the older generation, they may think someone would need to work 20 years to achieve a $5k pay, but to a young graduate in the financial industry, he may think he only needs to work 3 years.
The thing is, many people use their social circle to determine what is normal. They look around at their friends, family, people of the same age, and they find a perceived average. Then they determine if they are above or under that average. And they conclude, "OK I'm doing better than average."
Cos for many people, and even most of us, our world IS just the people around us.
And if we don't expose ourselves to other groups, we will never know what's out there.
Furthermore, how do you know what your relative position is?
Like for instance, I believe I am above average in terms of financial stability. Not saying I have above average AUM, but if we take into account household AUM + earning capacity and expense rates, I would think we are above average in financial stability.
But if I don't know the people who are doing worse off then us, and the people who are doing better off than us, how do I know I am above or under average?
It's very easy to look at a doctor or dentist and conclude that he is doing better than us.
But yet if we look at overall financial stability, would that still be the case?
Currently if I reference myself against the supermarket staff, I may think it's incredulous that anyone would want to work for $1200 pay.
But let's say I'm still working and let's say I draw a $5k salary. And suddenly someone offers me $25k pay. The first thing that crosses my mind would be... "what do I need to sacrifice to earn this money."
It's very natural right? Cos no way would any of us think that anyone would offer us 5x salary without a corresponding increase in workload or responsibility. And you may think... "Oh I can't do that kind of role."
But yet, if you work for 20 years and get a $1k increment every year, you will still obtain this increment and probably also slowly take up this amount of workload and responsibility.
Can you imagine earning $100k a month? And yet, if you are hanging around the "right" crowd, that would be the "NORMAL" for them, cos to them, that is the "average" within their social circle.
Now, flip that around and imagine you ARE the supermarket staff and you are earning $1200 per month, and someone offers you $6k pay. What would you think? It would likely be the same thoughts right? You would likely think of what you have to give up for such a high pay.
And yet... we all work around the same working hours. around 8-10 hours per day.
So let's combine all these together... what is a normal family?
There is NO SUCH THING.
Cos I have some stuff that I'm above average, some things I'm not above average, I know some specialized knowledge, I have some assets.
But what I don't know is also a lot. I can't play any musical instrument, I'm not really fit, I haven't traveled to a lot of places where others have already traveled to, etc.
If we benchmark against the real society at large, let's say against Singaporeans. The "normal" is very different from our own perceived "normal" where we usually benchmark against our peers and the people within our own social circle.
Now... I personally think that benchmarking and comparison is a double edged sword.
It can help someone be better cos he wants to be better than his peers.
But it could turn toxic and this person just gets jealous of the people around him.
For me, I do benchmark against my peers. But I'm also very aware of what I have given up to be better off or worse off than them.
Technically, I AM worse off in my career as compared to many others.
So what am I driving at with this post...
Well, it's really easy to hang around our own social circle and think and benchmark and perceive the world to be just what's around us. In all aspects, knowledge, spiritually, financially, health, etc... we always look around us and we think our immediate circle is the norm.
Like to me, it's pretty normal to get food for free, it's normal, everyone around me gets food for free.
Or a certain pay is considered normal.
But I think everyone lives within their own circle of normal, many/most of us don't expand our social circle. It's just inconvenient, we only have so much free time so we always spend our time with the people around us. That's understandable.
But yet I think it's important to be aware of this, that our social circle is very small and probably very specialized within our own industry or our own interests, and the world has a lot more variety than we probably know.
We really all do live in our own little worlds that we have constructed for ourselves.
The industry we are in, our type of friends, our hobbies, interests, clothes we wear, lifestyles, etc.
Essentially, we all select and build our own environment for ourselves and who/what we surround ourselves with.
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