And I think it comes out in my posts as well.
So I was reflecting about it. I mean... like, I'm not suffering. I'm living quite well.
Yes, now I'm staying a lot at home cos of COVID. But even before that, I wasn't particularly enjoying myself in both Paris and US.
After pondering about it for sometime, I concluded that the answer is... Integration.
I was thinking... IF I was born in France or Paris. Then I think I would have grown up in the same culture as everyone around me, I'd have friends and family. I'd be used to the system and how people do things. I'd be used to the perception of "Freedom" in US, or the protests in France.
And I think this is where I failed in both countries. I failed to integrate with the people and overall lifestyle.
Of course, it's not easy, but if I really wanted to, then it would probably do me a lot of good to try to get in the grove of things.
In terms of lifestyle, I can't complain. I'm living quite the same as when I used to live in SG. Low levels of spending. Going out a bit, some entertainment, etc.
I miss the food in SG, and I miss my friends and family.
Besides that, life is pretty much the same. Before COVID, I was walking around some shopping centers and going to some places of interests during weekends, in France or in the US.
Similar to what I used to do in SG.
Which makes me believe that the main difference is the lack of community. There's no sense of belonging.
No relationships besides ourselves.
Food I can cook and emulate or buy alternatives. Like I can make my own wanton mee, or carrot cake.
It's also mainly our fault cos we don't go out or make an effort to hang out or join community events, or even if we do, we just keep to ourselves and just eat the free food. We don't try to chat with others.
Unfortunately, we are pretty introverted people.
Of course being cooped up at home makes things worse. Cos previously we used to go to the lobby to chat with the staff of the apartment. Or the apartment would organize some mini events and we would go and make some small talk with a few of the people.
I also think one of the things which hinder me/us from making more relationships is that I think I'm here for the short term, so it makes little sense to put in the effort to meet different people. Furthermore, it's not like when I was in SG, where we grew up and we naturally made friends on our journey in life. School, work, hobbies, etc.
I'm sure my wife has people whom she mingles with at work. Except that I don't have that opportunity.
Maybe there's why there's large clusters of community in many countries. Like, Chinatown, or K-Town, or areas for Arabs, cos for different nationalities, it makes sense for them to cluster up and form some sort of community for themselves so that they can have a sense of home and be live in their own culture.
Really not so easy to just get involved in a new country starting from scratch. Especially since we aren't very out going people.
I'm wondering if it makes sense that we go attend some activities or community events when COVID ends. But who knows how long that's going to be.
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